Miss Growth Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

89 Results for Miss Growth

View 31 - 40 results for miss growth comic strips. Discover the best "Miss Growth" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 13, 2009's comic on:


Tags #economy, #fear, #policies, #evil, #cruel

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert says, "The employees are scared shirtless about losing their jobs." Catbert says, "This is a good time to cut their benefits and roll out some Draconian corporate policies." Dilbert says, "'In the event of a bomb threat, the employees are expected to shield the servers with their bodies.'" Wally says, "I miss my shirt."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 10, 2008's comic on:


Tags #spam filter, #self aware, #managing the company, #messages, #allow through, #email, #hair growth

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Our spam filter has become self-aware" Dilbert says, "It's managing the company by deciding which messages to allow through." The Boss says, "All I'm getting is e-mail about hair growth and... ooh, another lucky guess."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 08, 2008's comic on:


Tags #employees, #meeting, #miss step, #mole hired, #reporting, #chilling effect, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

RAtBert: I'm the official department mole. I'll be reporting your every misstep to your pointy-haired boss. Dilbert: Won't this have a chilling effect on our creativity and honesty?" RatBert: That didn't take long.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 03, 2007's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"I heard that you started a comic strip on the side." "You're in my seat, fly bait. Move or I'll pound your head so hard you'll have to remove your pants to read." "Did I miss anything about teamwork?" "Where do you get your ideas?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 18, 2007's comic on:


Tags #arc welder, #barrel of kerosene, #growth on neck, #health plan, #laid eggs, #pregnant termite, #quick search, #to diagnose, #use google

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert: The new company health plan is Google. From now on, employees must use Google to diagnose their own illnesses. For example, this guy has a growth on his neck. Guy: I do? Catbert: A quick search on my Blackberry tells me it's... Guy: What is it?!! Catbert: Ooh. Wow. A pregnant termite crawled into your mouth and built a hive in your esophagus. Guy: GAAA!!!" "Stop being a baby. The treatment for that is... Catbert: Do you have an arc welder and a barrel of kerosene?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 26, 2007's comic on:


Tags #meeting right now, #lunch time, #12 hours, #misery, #envy, #dead don't eat lucnch

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Can you come to a meeting right now? Dilbert: No, it's almost lunch time. If I miss lunch, my day will be 12 hours of uninterrupted misery. I will envy the dead. The Boss: That's stupid. The dead don't eat lunch either.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 26, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"Our company has decided to try something new." Six Sigma "New? Six Sigma was developed in the 80s." "It's new to us." "Why don't we jump on a fad that hasn't already been widely discredited?" "That way the false hope might sustain us." "There's nothing wrong with Six Sigma. All it does is reduce defects!" "Let's see...Fortune Magazine sys...blah, blah...Most companies that used Six Sigma have trailed the S&P 500." "Sorry I'm late. What did I miss while I was innovating?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 21, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

I just saw a study that says the dull appearance of my cubicle is probably inhibiting the growth of neurons in my brain! "Try sitting there for a few hours and then tell me if you feel any different." "Now I can't remember what I was complaining about."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 02, 2006's comic on:


Tags #interview candidate, #isn't too old, #illegal ask, #telltale signs, #explosive ear hair

View Transcript

Transcript

Interview this candidate and make sure he isn't too old. "It's illegal to ask his age." "Just stall until you see the telltale signs of E.E.H.G." "E.E.H.G.?" "Explosive ear hair growth." "Hmm. No wrinkles. But maybe he uses moisturizers and stays out of the sun." "Wait...wait..." "Can't...hold out any...longer." "GAAA!!! Look away! Look away!" "Ha!" "Then I waited and waited...What?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 27, 2005's comic on:


Tags #ceo, #limo, #miss pennington, #harold, #rat bert, #surgery, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert the CEO "Miss Pennington, have my driver fetch the limo." "My name isn't Miss Pennington. It's Harold." "And?" "Um...and...I'll have it legally changed to Miss Pennington so you won't be wrong." "Plus the surgery."