Natural Instinct Comic Strips - Page 4

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74 Results for Natural Instinct

View 31 - 40 results for natural instinct comic strips. Discover the best "Natural Instinct" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 04, 2008's comic on:


Tags #antimatter dilbert, #matterscreen, #coffee, #annihilated

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Anti-Dilbert says, "I'm the antimatter Dilbert. If my thin film of matterscreen washed off, I would come in contact with matter and be annihilated." SPLOOSH! KABOOM! Alice thinks, "Once again, my first instinct wasn't the best."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 27, 2006's comic on:


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"Alice, this is Ellen, your new natural enemy." "You're highly skilled but mannish, whereas Ellen is unqualified and totally hot." "Now I have to decide who will come with me to the trade show in Hawaii and who will do the furniture inventory."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 12, 2006's comic on:


Tags #security software, #upgrade it, #hackers, #steal identity, #bank accounts, #destroy hard drive, #cjoices

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DilMom "Your security software is out of date..." "Uh-oh." "Would you like to spend the rest of your natural life trying to figure out how to upgrade it?" "Erk!" "Or would you prefer to let hackers steal your identity, drain your bank accounts and destroy your hard drive?" "I need more choices!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 13, 2006's comic on:


Tags #expressing opnion, #thousand expressions, #the wood chipper

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"Erk! That look says you want to kill me for expressing my opinion!" "No, no." "Women have a thousand expressions that say they want you to die. That one says she wants you to die of natural causes, preferably soon." Budda budda budda "She calls this one 'The Wood Chipper.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 11, 2005's comic on:


Tags #project post mortem, #colossal ineptitude, #natural talents, #unfocused honest

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The boss: "The project post-mortem will only be helpful if each of you is honest about what went wrong." "Your colossal ineptitude as a leader suppressed our natural talents, leaving us listless and unfocused." "And by 'honest', I mean blaming people who aren't here." "Look! You're doing it again!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 20, 2005's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #introductions, #manager instinct, #disengaged, #mirror mannerisms, #witty side comment, #pledge loyalty, #dead guy, #business

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I missed the introductions. "I'll use my manager instinct to figure out who's important." "Only a senior executive could get away without looking so disengaged." "I'll mirro his mannerisms so he'll like me." "Now for a witty side comment." "Ha ha! That will happend when monkeys fly our of my nose." "No reaction! He must be so important that he has no sense of humor!" "I pledge my loyalty to you and only you!!!" "I heard that you pledged your loyalty to a daed guy." "At least he won't ask for much."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 12, 2004's comic on:


Tags #cubicle vampire, #happy coowrkers, #in search of, #talk, #work related issues, #life drained, #gut instinct, #you're hire

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Job interview "What's your biggest weakness." "I'm a cubicle vampire." "I wander the cubicles in search of happy coworkers." "Then I pounce!" "Then you suck their blood?" "That was the old way." "I talk about work-related issues until the life is drained from their bodies." "I'm going to trust my gut instinct on this. You're hired." "Have you met the new hire yet?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 10, 2003's comic on:


Tags #project manager, #direct natural talent, #energy, #common goal, #agenda, #copies of agenda, #health

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wally: "I've never been a project manager before." "I understand I'm supposed to direct your natural talents and energies toward a common goal." Wally: "Carol, did you make copies of the agenda?" Carol: "No, it sounded hard."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 24, 2003's comic on:


Tags #boss, #touched by new hire, #cry, #hired, #special skill, #identifying good people, #part instinct, #favorite color

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Man: "When I'm not helping team members, I like to feed the poor or read to blind people." "I don't care about money. All I want is a chance to help humanity reach its fullest potential." The Boss: "You're so wonderful. It's making me cry! You're hired." Man: "Excellent." The Boss: "Come meet the team." "I have a special skill for identifying good people." "It's part instinct, part experience." "And yes, maybe just a little ESP." "Watch this." "Alice, your favorite color is...mitten?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 13, 2003's comic on:


Tags #hard day, #meeting with ceo, #billion dollar comapny, #free stock, #cash fow, #revenue, #disaster events, #tragic evenets, #slpping, #fear induced meeting

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Dilbert: Im taking my business case too some venture capitalists. Im hoping that their wisdom and resources will make it a billion dollar company. Dilbert: Would you like some free stock? Dogbert: BAH! Dilbert: What would I do without the support of my loved one? CEO: What would the cash flow look like if.... ....Revenue was zero, microsoft and IBM entered the market , your factory burned down and a piano fell on your head? And what about civil unrest, lawsuits, natural disasters and locusts? Dilbert: ...Then the little one slapped me. Dogbert: Now RE_E_EL them in.