Network Conditions Comic Strips - Page 4

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121 Results for Network Conditions

View 31 - 40 results for network conditions comic strips. Discover the best "Network Conditions" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 01, 2013's comic on:


Tags #new year's day, #optimism, #network down, #bad new years day, #good year

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Dilbert: A fresh new year is upon us and I am brimming with optimism. Ugh. Our network at work is down because my pointy-haired boss wouldn't let me upgrade the software. Now I need to work all night to fix it. Maybe this means the next 364 days will be extra awesome. Dogbert: Yeah. That's how it works.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 04, 2012's comic on:


Tags #computer software, #managers & supervisors, #budget, #work monitoring software, #calendar, #year 2040, #square boxes, #business

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Boss: I don't have a budget for the network monitoring software you need, so you'll have to write it yourself. Dilbert: Good plan. I'll check back with you when I'm done doing that. What's your calendar look like in the year 2040? Boss: Sort of a grid with square boxes.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 21, 2012's comic on:


Tags #computer software, #inventions, #3d network, #motion sensors, #sneezed, #merged network, #15th of cisco

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In the near future Wally: I was manipulating a 3-D network model using my hand motion sensors. It was all good until I sneezed and accidentally merged my network design with my outlook calendar. Boss: When will you have that fixed? Wally: I should be done by... the 15th of Cisco.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 01, 2012's comic on:


Tags #gadgets, #office equipment, #swine, #information services, #upgraded network secuirty, #facila recognition, #temporary passwrod, #face, #extensive plastic surgery, #to log on

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Mordac: I am Mordac, the preventer of information services. Dilbert: I know. We've worked together for years. Mordac: And it still sounds awesome when I say it. Anyway, I up-graded our network security to include facial recognition. Your temporary password is this face. You'll need extensive plastic surgery to log on the first time. Dilbert: You've gone too far, Mordac! I will escalate this! Boss: I wish we'd had this conversation a week ago.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 20, 2012's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #competitors network, #elbonians, #bribe blogger, #limited capacity, #self control, #bury in woods

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Boss: Can you hack into our competitor's network and make it look as if the Elbonians did it? Dilbert: No. Boss: Can you bribe a blogger to write good things about our company? Dilbert: No. Boss: Now that I've worn down your limited capacity for self-control, I need you to bury something in the woods, no questions asked. Dilbert: Fine.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 25, 2011's comic on:


Tags #christmas presents, #embarrassment, #merry christmas, #network design meeting, #brand of makeup, #hid, #loobby, #elevator, #closet for months, #creepiness

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Dilbert: Merry Christmas, Sarah. This is for you. Woman: Have you met? Dilbert: We attended the same network design meeting last April. I overheard you telling someone in the hallway that you like a specific brand of makeup. So I bought a box of it and kept it in the closet for months. I came to work early today and hid behind the sculpture in the lobby until I saw you heading to the elevator. Alice: I didn't know you could gift wrap creepiness. Sorry. Just act like I'm not here.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 20, 2011's comic on:


Tags #hardware, #internet & world wide web, #next week balancing, #traffic loads, #network, #worst wingman, #shame

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Wally: Is it okay if I spend the next week balancing traffic loads on our newtork? Asok: I thought I told you that our hardware vendor already did that. Wally: Worst wingman ever. Asok: Shame is my name!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 12, 2011's comic on:


Tags #computers & peripherals, #fraternization, #friends with ghots, #ghandi, #ghost personal page, #ghosts, #heaven, #internet & world wide web, #llincoln, #satellite pictures, #social media, #social network, #technology

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Dogbert: Our new product will be a social network for people who want to be friends with ghosts. We'll post satellite pictures on each ghost's personal page and say the photos were taken from heaven. Man: Abraham Lincoln posted new pictures. Woman: I'm chatting with Gandhi! Later.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 14, 2011's comic on:


Tags #apathy, #executives, #work ethic, #enginner, #no budget, #emailed, #ceo, #social network, #global supply chain

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Dilbert: So... you emailed our CEO and asked for funds to build a social network for our global supply chain. Dilbert: No one wants that, But it sounds good, so he moved all of our project funding to your dumb idea. and...you will produce nothing, Wally: said the engineer with no budget.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 12, 2011's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #social network, #stategy, #global supply chain

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Wally says, "I can't help you because I'm busy working on a social network strategy for our global supply chain." Man says, "That sounds like something that no one wants and no one needs." Wally says, "That's probably why it's taking so long."