No Hope Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

307 Results for No Hope

View 31 - 40 results for no hope comic strips. Discover the best "No Hope" comics from Dilbert.com.

Accused Of Forgery

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Accused Of Forgery - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #motivation, #performance, #forgery, #pessimism, #giving up, #resistance

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: You stand accused of forging an expense approval from the head of Marketing. Your malfeasance caused the project to finish on time and under budget. Next time, just give up and lose hope like everyone else. Dilbert: Will do.

Get Multiple Approvals

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Get Multiple Approvals - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers, #problems, #work, #frustration

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You need to get your capital budget approved by all of the department heads. We're in the middle of a reorg, so get approval from both the outgoing and the incoming managers. Dilbert: Someday I hope to solve a problem that is not caused by leadership. Boss: You'll never get that far.

Wally Replaces Himself With Chatbot

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Replaces Himself With Chatbot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #working from home, #work ethic, #technology, #bot

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I got approval to work from home. My chatbot will answer all of my emails and text messages. Dilbert: Chatbot answers would be useless. Wally: I hope so. Otherwise it wouldn't sound like me.

Wally Heads Up Ai Project

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Heads Up Ai Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #project, #fake

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Wally, I need you to head up our artificial intelligence project. You will have no budget and no hope of success. I just like saying we're working on AI. And you're completely useless, so it's a good match. Wally: I won't let you down.

Checking The Time

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Checking The Time - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bored, #boredom, #dying, #dead

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Stop checking the time when I talk to you! Dilbert: I wasn't checking the time. I was checking my pulse to see if I'm dying from boredom. Uh-oh. Boss: I hope this is a coincidence.

Wally Is Unlikely To Do Favors

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Is Unlikely To Do Favors - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #apathy, #assist, #favor, #guest artist, #help, #helpful, #laziness, #john glynn

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: Wally, will you do me a favor? Wally: It feels unlikely. Carol: You haven't heard it yet. Wally: That matters less than you hope it does.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #jargon, #techspeak, #nonsense, #bluff, #deception, #conversation, #language

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Wally, did you Uberize the slide deck? Wally: I harmonized it in the cloud. Boss: Are we ready for a trans-domain kick-off? Wally: I put a disruptive mesh network in the microservices of the Internet of things. Boss: Will that be good enough to "ask the fridge" or do I need to start disintermediating? Wally: It depends on if we have enough bandwidth to growth-hack the analytics. Boss: I just hope our clicks-and-mortar strategy staircases. Dilbert: I'm almost certain that was nonsense. Wally: Sometimes it's about the journey.

Clarifying Our Strategies

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Clarifying Our Strategies - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #jargon, #speaking, #confusion, #language, #obliviousness, #managers, #fake, #faking

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I hope that clarifies our strategy. Questions? Dilbert: From what you said, I can't tell if we're in the hardware or software business. Boss: We're B-to-B. Dilbert: How much do you with that meant something?

How It Feels To Never Accomplish

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
How It Feels To Never Accomplish - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #perspective, #happiness, #satisfaction, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: What's it like to never feel the satisfaction of a job well done? Wally: It's even better than you'd think! Dilbert: We might not be on the same page here. Wally: I hope your page feels as good as mine.

The World Always Needs Bankers

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
The World Always Needs Bankers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #banking, #big business, #college, #crime, #debt, #future, #hope, #job, #money, #robot, #robots, #stealing, #business, #education

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: My son is trying to pick a major for college. Do you have any advice? Dilbert: Well, it will take him fifteen years to pay off his student loans, but most jobs will be replaced by robots in ten. But the world always needs bankers. Carol: We're trying to steer him away from crime.