Non Urgency Comic Strips - Page 4

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View 31 - 40 results for non urgency comic strips. Discover the best "Non Urgency" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #assignment, #delegating, #logic, #crumpling, #unnatural, #useless

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the Boss says, "Dilbert, I need you to take care of?um?" The Boss says, "?.Whatever is on the top of my pile." Dilbert says, "This is a job for marketing. Not engineering." The Boss says, "Give it to the director of marketing and ask him to assign it to someone." Dilbert says, "So...you're delegating to me to pass this off to someone else, who will delegate it to someone else." Dilbert says, "With each handoff, the sense of urgency will diminish until the likelihood of completion approaches zero." Dilbert says, "You could save the company money by crumpling up this document and throwing it away right now." The boss says, "This feels wrong." Dilbert says, "Try using more wrist."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #acting, #lesson, #occupation

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The Boss says, "We don't have enough money to fund your project, but I don't want to downsize you and shrink my empire." The Boss says, "I hired an acting coach to teach you how to hang around the office pretending to be useful." man says, "Are you dead or just non-expressive?" Dilbert says, "It's called a 'job'"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new elbonian management, #not discriminate, #non elbonians, #belief system, #level as livestock, #wrong hoof, #new superior

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An Elbonian says, "I assure you that your new Elbonian management will not discriminate against non-Elbonians." Someone says, "Doesn't your belief system hold that all non-Elbonians are on the same level as livestock?" The Elbonian says, "Someone is starting off on the wrong hoof with his new supervisor."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bought company, #discriminate, #non elbonian, #hatless spawn, #satans bowels, #elbonian company

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The Boss says, "An Elbonian company bought our company yesterday." Dilbert says, "What?" The Boss says, "They promise they won't discriminate against non-Elbonians." An Elbonian says, "Hey, hatless spawn of Satan's bowels, put a head on this."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #out of coffee, #false sense, #urgency, #stress, #project, #finish project, #aftrenoon

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Dilbert says, "We're out of coffee." Dilbert says, "Can you give me a false sense of urgency and some unnecessary stress to compensate?" The Boss says, "Finish your project before our CEO stops by on Tuesday." Dilbert says, "Perfect. I'll see you this afternoon for a second cup."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #monitor actions, #cameras, #strapped to head, #non work related, #attach sensors, #track thoughts, #engineers, #lab assistant

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Catbert says, "We monitor all of your actions, but we suspect you are still doing non-work-related thinking." Catbert says, "My lab assistant Trixie will attach sensors to your head and track all of your thoughts." The computer screen says, "Mmm... Trixie, wear this while you wash my electric car." Trixie thinks, "Engineers."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #home lap top, #non standard cell phone, #elastic underpants, #trapped, #snagged, #clothes, #rigged, #office

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Dilbert says, "My only hope for productivity is to smuggle in my home laptop" CLAMP CLAMP CLAMP Mordac says, "Now hand over the non-standard cell phone you keep in the elastic of your underpants."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #25 questions, #before start, #bluff, #didn't send email, #email, #excuses, #lies to boss, #non responsive, #slacker, #standoff

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Wally: I planned to be productive this week. I sent you an e-mail with 25 questions I need answered before I can start on my project. I waited patiently while your non-responsiveness crushed my hopes and dreams. The Boss: I don't have time to answer 25 questions! Wally: Well then, it appears we are at a standoff. The Boss: Okay, okay! I'll work all weekend answering your stupid questions!!! Wally: That's great, unless you can't find the e-mail I sent. Dilbert: Did you really send an e-mail?" Wally: That's not how I roll.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #automated sytem, #arbitrary deadline, #work smarter, #not harder, #sense of urgency, #get work done

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Dilbert: "I can't develop an automated testing system by the arbitrary deadline you set." The Boss: "Try working smarter, not harder, with a sense of urgency, and a bias for action." Dilbert: "Or maybe you could do something differently." The Boss: "I'm not the one who can't get his work done."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bearded guy, #too close, #Dilbert, #bugged out, #touching brain with nose

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Then I said... Dilbert: He is totally violating my personal space with his non-standard facial hair." "HA! HA! HA! HA!" Gaaa!!! His warm, moist breath is all over me!" "Please stop touching my brain with your nose."