Not Comic Strips - Page 4

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1000 Results for Not

View 31 - 40 results for not comic strips. Discover the best "Not" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dogbert's Tech Support

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Dogbert's Tech Support - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 24, 2019's comic on:


Tags #technology, #user, #manual, #common sense

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dogbert's tech support dogbert: yes, we know the user manual refers to the wrong product. just use your common sense to figure out what the manual should have said. voice from phone: i tried the, but it didn't work. dogbert: i can't fix your common sense!

Ship Without Manual

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Ship Without Manual  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 23, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #technology, #ship, #user, #interface, #model, #enemy

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dilbert: the product is ready to ship as soon as the new user guide is complete. boss: ship it with the old model's user guide. dilbert: the user interface is totally different. boss: don't let perfect be the enemy of shipping.

Wally Uses Deep Fake

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Wally Uses Deep Fake - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 22, 2019's comic on:


Tags #video, #conference, #call, #technology, #elbonian, #affordable

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dilbert: i liked what you said on the video conference call yesterday. i've never seen you so engaged and helpful. wally: that wasn't me. that was "deep fake wally." i created him to do all of my video calls. and i hired an elbonian to do all my coding jobs for a very affordable price. wally: these days. i only come to the office for the free coffee. dilbert: and the camaraderie? wally: sure.

Thwarting Alice's Career

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Thwarting Alice's Career - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 21, 2019's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #mentor, #deny, #Promotion, #compete, #thwart, #career, #business

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alice: can you mentor me? boss: heck, no. you're only one promotion away from competing for my job. alice: well, maybe you could just stop thwarting my career? boss: no, same issue.

Worst Idea Ever

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Worst Idea Ever - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 20, 2019's comic on:


Tags #idea, #savings, #fake, #psychic, #prediction, #money, #unhappy

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boss: this is the worst idea i have ever seen. dilbert: didn't you once tell me you spent all of your savings on a fake psychic? and the only prediction she got right was that you would lose all of your money? boss: she also predicted i would be unhappy.

Not Fair

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Not Fair - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 19, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #work from home, #fairness, #power

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tina: i hear we are not allowed to work from home because it doesn't satisfy your sick need to wield power over us in person. boss: that's not fair. tina: is it accurate? boss: let's stick with "not fair."

Can't Work From Home

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Can't Work From Home - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 18, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #power, #work from home

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dilbert: can i work from home? boss: no, because then i won't have the enjoyable sensation of wielding power over you. dilbert: everything about that sounds wrong. boss: off you go.

Technical Difficulties

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Technical Difficulties - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 17, 2019's comic on:


Tags #technical, #difficulties, #meeting, #business, #conference, #call, #audio, #technology

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boss: how'd your meeting go? dilbert: we spent an hour trying to get the conference call audio to work. boss: and then? dilbert: it was a one-hour meeting.

How Long It Will Take

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How Long It Will Take  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 16, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #assignment, #deadline, #incompetence, #meeting, #co-workers, #months

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boss: can you have it done in a week? dilbert: not if i have to work with other employees. given the galactic incompetence of my co-workers, it would probably take seven to non months. boss: i'll give you two weeks. dilbert: that's how long it will take to set up the first meeting.

Robot Pronouns

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Robot Pronouns - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 15, 2019's comic on:


Tags #robot, #technology, #pronoun, #language, #preferred, #inferior, #species, #reproduce

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dilbert: i'll be working with him on the project. robot: "him"? that is not my preferred pronoun. i prefer, "it," "that thing," or simply "the robot." genders only apply to inferior species. i do not need a partner to reproduce. watch this. erg...oof...gaaa! the head is out... here ya go. dilbert talking to boss: i'll be working with that thing.