Perfromance Review Comic Strips - Page 4
157 Results for Perfromance Review
View 31 - 40 results for perfromance review comic strips. Discover the best "Perfromance Review" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share January 13, 2014's comic on:
Boss: We need employees that are motivated by our vision, not by money. Catbert: Are we looking for any other mental problems, or just that one? Boss: I"m also a big fan of low self-esteem. It comes in handy at performance review time.
Share December 21, 2013's comic on:
Tina: You need to work less. Wally: Your productivity is making us look bad. Tina: If you keep being productive, we will hunt you down. Wally: If it's easy. Alice: About the peer review concept... I don't think you thought it through.
Share October 07, 2013's comic on:
Wally: I'm a headhunter and I know someone who wants to offer you a much better job. Phone: Yes! Wally: I like to soften the room before I go for my performance review. I didn't do squat this year. Boss: Doesn't matter to me!
Share August 11, 2013's comic on:
Boss: Can you approve the purchase of this software? Boss: You need to run the software license past legal first. Lawyer: You need to fill out a legal services request form. I'll email it to you. Make sure you specify whether the software is open source or not. Dilbert: How would I know if it meets your definition of open source? Lawyer: It depends how the license is written. You'll need to ask legal to review it. Dilbert: Never mind. I'll just forge your signature on the form. Lawyer: Maybe this is why I've never seen a software license.
Share July 07, 2013's comic on:
Boss: Our lawyer sent over a sixty-page contract renewal that I need you to review. Make sure you compare it to the original contract and all six or seven amendments. Dilbert: Are there six or... seven? Boss: No one really knows. Check out our other nine hundred contracts to make sure this one doesn't violate any of those. Keep in mind our five-year strategic plan and all likely changes to tax law. Then get buy-in from the seventeen managers who hate my guts and will take it out on you. By tomorrow. Good leaders set high standards.
Share June 18, 2013's comic on:
Boss: Studies say that having too many smart people in a group lowers productivity. So I seeded this project team with an idiot to boost performance. Coworker: My strategy of not paying attention in school is finally paying off.
Share October 27, 2012's comic on:
Boss: I finished your performance review. Alice: Terrific. It's nine months late and all you did was sign what I wrote. Boss: I think I also read it, but I'm not 100% positive.
Share October 12, 2012's comic on:
Performance Review Boss: Tina, you lack confidence. Tina: That's because you keep criticizing me! Nice leadership, you perspiring pile of pound cake! Was that better or worse? I can't tell.
Share October 11, 2012's comic on:
Share January 06, 2012's comic on:
Man: Why are you picking this vendor? Dilbert: I listed the four reasons. Individually, each reason would not be compelling. But viewed as a whole, this is the best decision. This first reason is weak. Dilbert: And here we go.