Personal Stuff Comic Strips - Page 4
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296 Results for Personal Stuff
View 31 - 40 results for personal stuff comic strips. Discover the best "Personal Stuff" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday November 23,
2016
Turn Down Service
Tags #pun, #wordplay, #hotel, #turn-down
Transcript
Dilbert: I'd like to decline your turn-down service tonight so I can have some privacy. Voice: We're going to do it anyway. Good luck finding your stuff after we randomly move it. Dilbert: What? You can't do that! I hereby turn down your turn down of your turn-down service! Voice: Say goodbye to your phone charger!
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Thursday September 29,
2016
Bribing Wally
Tags #bribe, #morals, #laziness, #work ethic
Transcript
Wally: I don't have time to help. Coworker: What if I bribe you to do your job? I am literally offering to give you my personal money to do the job your employer pays you to do. Wally: Are you willing to turn a blind eye to my total lack of effort, or should I find a better briber?
Thursday September 22,
2016
Wally's World Expands
Tags #window, #view, #seeing, #perspective, #office, #office workers
Transcript
Wally: My world view has expanded since I moved to a cubicle near a window. I didn't realize how much stuff was outside our building. Boss: Such as the rest of the universe? Wally: I can only see the alley in front of the parking garage.
Monday September 19,
2016
Hire Agile Programmers
Tags #pun, #deception, #earthquake, #agility
Transcript
Wally: You should move the agile programmers to building six because it has poor earthquake protection. they can jump out of the way if stuff starts falling. Boss; I guess that makes sense. Wally: Can I have one of their cubicles near a window?
Sunday August 28,
2016
Tags #scam, #death, #reincarnation, #con, #con artist, #ghost, #medical
Transcript
Dogbert: I'm starting a new business selling clothes to ghosts. My garments are made of the finest ectoplasm. Dilbert: Ghosts don't have money. Dogbert: They don't need money. I'm using a life insurance business model. If you pay me until you die, I will keep your ghost well-dressed for eternity. I also offer reincarnation services. Leave all of your stuff to me when you die and I'll give it back to you when I find the baby that got your soul. Dilbert: You'll be in trouble if your customers realize you're running a scam. Dogbert: If dead people start complaining, we've both got bigger problems than my scams.
Saturday August 13,
2016
Wally And The Lactation Room
Tags #man cave, #coffee, #trick, #lactation room
Transcript
Boss: Someone turned our lactation room into a personal man cave. Wally: That guy sounds awesome. Boss: The janitor found a recliner, a tv,and a coffee maker in there. So I asked myself who would put a coffee maker in a lactation room. Wally: I drink mine black.
Wednesday July 20,
2016
Dilbert Fits It All In One Slide
Tags #irrational, #demands, #managers, #powerpoint, #nonsense
Transcript
Dilbert: It took me a hours to figure out how to fit everything you wanted into one slide. Boss: That's great. Now add in some stuff about the budget, our risks, and all of our competition. And keep it all on one slide. Dilbert: Have you ever listened to the noise coming from your mouth?
Wednesday June 15,
2016
Social Justice Warrior
Tags #sjw, #hiring, #internet, #troll, #trolling, #sensitivity, #political correcness, #politically correct, #technology
Transcript
Boss: According to people on the Internet, you're what's called a "social justice warrior." Man: The tone of your voice indicates you are against me. And that means you are making common cause with racists. Boss: If I hire you, will you stop saying crazy stuff like that? Man: Censorship!
Monday May 23,
2016
Self Empowered Week
Tags #honesty, #aspirations, #work ethic, #standards, #guest artist, #jake tapper
Transcript
CEO: I want all of you to be creative, self-empowered, and accountable. Wally: If I could do any of that stuff, why would I work here? I just find the whole thing confusing.
Saturday May 07,
2016
Entitled Employee Buys A Car
Tags #entitled, #entitlement, #millennials, #work ethic, #lazy, #consumerism
Transcript
The Entitled Employee. Man: I need a raise because I bought a luxury car. Boss: Your pay is based on your performance, not your personal expenses. Man: You leave me no choice but to keep the car and not pay for it. Boss: Tell them you deserve it.