Pre Care Comic Strips - Page 4
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180 Results for Pre Care
View 31 - 40 results for pre care comic strips. Discover the best "Pre Care" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday June 01,
2015
Boss And Social Media
Tags #social media, #twitter, #facebook, #passion, #deception, #trick, #prank, #obliviousness, #technology
Transcript
Boss: I don't get social media. How do I get followers? Wally: Easy. People care about passion. Find something you hate and write about it. Boss: Well, I don't like children. Wally: Perfect. And don't hold back.
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Sunday May 24,
2015
Tags #dating, #social, #social interaction, #honesty, #politeness, #overshare, #relationships
Transcript
Woman: So, tell me a little about yourself, and be totally honest. Dilbert: Totally honest? Okay... I like technology more than I like people. I don't believe in free will, soulmates, or following my passion. I think life is a brief, meaningless event in a random universe that doesn't care. I only associate with other people because I have biological and economical needs. I think all human actions are driven by selfishness. Woman: Uh... okay. Do you have any questions for me? Dilbert: Am I still being totally honest or should I act curious?
Saturday May 23,
2015
Alice Disposes Of Excess Robot Inventory
Tags #destruction, #anger, #therapy, #catharsis, #robot, #psychology
Transcript
Boss: I want you to get rid of that 3-D printed robot that looks and acts like me. Dilbert: No problem. Alice takes care of all the excess robot inventory. Alice: I don't always have passion for my work, but today is looking good.
Wednesday April 01,
2015
World's Greatest Economist
Tags #coincidence, #deception, #economist, #economy, #money, #random jargon, #art, #science
Transcript
Dilbert: You are being hailed as the best economist of our age because your random jargon turned out to mean something. Wally: That's nice, but as a professional economist, I only care if there is a cash award. Dilbert: The world's greatest economist should already be rich. Wally: It's more art than science.
Friday March 06,
2015
Male Parts And Nothing Can Change It
Tags #discrimination, #fairness, #money, #salary, #sexism, #wages, #Women, #male body parts
Transcript
CEO: I explained to Alice why I earn more than she does, but she refuses to understand. I'm taller and I have male reproductive body parts. That's what stockholders care about, and nothing can change that. (Alice whistles as she walks with a pair of scissors and a mallet.)
Wednesday February 18,
2015
Dilbert Sent To Disable Elbonian Internet
Tags #annoyance, #binary, #code, #coding, #developing countries, #frustration, #internet, #technology
Transcript
Dilbert: I have been sent to disable the Elbonian Internet as retaliation for hacking into our corporate network. Elbonian 1: Only our elites use the Internet. The rest of us don't care. Knock yourself out. Elbonian 2: Zero, zero, one, zero, one... Elbonian 3: I wish someone would just disable this thing.
Saturday September 13,
2014
Tags #optimism, #work ethic, #career advancement, #asking advice, #pet kangaroo, #marry one, #time lag, #Promotion
Transcript
Dilbert: Research says that asking for advice doubles your odds of career advancement. Do you think I should get a pet kangaroo? Boss: I don't care if you marry one. Dilbert: I wonder how long the time lag is until my promotion.
Saturday September 06,
2014
Tags #big business, #mergers & acquisitions, #worry, #short poition, #cartoon cat, #bloom county, #Comic Strip, #mantra, #bill ackman, #stocks, #defective people
Transcript
Dilbert: Bill Ackman just took a huge short position in our stock. Boss: I"m not worried about a cartoon cat from an old "Bloom County" comic strip. Dilbert: Maybe I care too much. Wally: That is the mantra of all defective people.
Monday August 18,
2014
Tags #conference call, #deal, #deception, #employees, #meeting, #negotiate, #telephones, #business
Transcript
Conference Call Phone: Wally, can you take the lead on that? Wally: This is Ted. I just joined the call. I'll take care of that for Wally. Phone: Thanks, Ted. Wally: I'm crushing it today.
Sunday August 03,
2014
Tags #venture capitalists, #reputation of the angel, #angel investors, #skill of engineers, #huge raise, #big chicken
Transcript
Dilbert: Do you know what venture capitalists care about when they make investment decisions? They care about the reputation of the angel investors who already put money in. DO you know what the angel investors care about? They care about the skill of the engineers. Therefore, you should give me a huge raise or else I'll quit and do my own start -up. BOSS: GO ahead you big chicken. Your going to die poor! HAHAHA!! Dilbert: That was harsh. Boss: and yet you didn't resign . any more questions?