Prediction Of Success Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

174 Results for Prediction Of Success

View 31 - 40 results for prediction of success comic strips. Discover the best "Prediction Of Success" comics from Dilbert.com.

No Path To Success

Thank you for voting.
No Path To Success - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 24, 2017's comic on:


Tags #collusion, #russia, #donald trump, #blame, #accusation, #public opinion

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I hear you're a corporate spy for our Elbonian competitors. Dilbert: No, that was an unfounded rumor. Alice: That's exactly what guilty people say. Dilbert: I'm not seeing my path to success here.

Wally's Invention Is The Best Seller Ever

Thank you for voting.
Wally's Invention Is The Best Seller Ever - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 23, 2017's comic on:


Tags #success, #Promotion, #management, #work, #laziness

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The product you accidentally invented is our biggest seller in company history. So I'm promoting you to a leadership position. Wally: Phew! I thought you were going to make me work.

Wally's Invention Goes Into Production

Thank you for voting.
Wally's Invention Goes Into Production - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 22, 2017's comic on:


Tags #invention, #success, #laziness, #fairness, #unfair

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: The board decided to put your invention of a phone charger that warms coffee into production. Market surveys show enormous demand. You're probably going to be our Employee Of The Year. This disturbs me on many levels. Wally: Genius is often disruptive.

Estimating Software Completion

Thank you for voting.
Estimating Software Completion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 11, 2017's comic on:


Tags #estimate, #deadline, #questioning, #delay, #prediction

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: When will the next version of the software be done? Dilbert: That's like asking me to estimate how long it takes a salamander to evolve into a horse. Boss: So... what should I tell our CEO? Dilbert: Try the salamander analogy. It worked on you.

World's Saddest Club

Thank you for voting.
World's Saddest Club - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 28, 2016's comic on:


Tags #catch-22, #deadline, #lose-lose, #choosing

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Can you get that analysis to me by Tuesday? Alice: Yes, if I do it poorly. Alternately, I can do it well and miss your deadline by a week. Man: That gives me no path to success. Alice: Welcome to the world's saddest club.

Ranked By Performance

Thank you for voting.
Ranked By Performance - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 05, 2016's comic on:


Tags #rank, #success, #failure, #laziness, #reward, #work ethic, #trying, #effort

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I ranked all of you based on your performance. Wally came out on top because he didn't make any mistakes. Dilbert: He also didn't do any work. Wally: Why does everyone hate winners?

Wally's Inappropriate Attire

Thank you for voting.
Wally's Inappropriate Attire - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 22, 2016's comic on:


Tags #dress code, #outfit, #crop top, #deception, #ploy, #trick, #telecommuting, #laziness, #work ethic

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: That is inappropriate office attire! Go home and work remotely for the rest of the day. Dilbert: How'd it work out? Wally: Phase one was a total success. Phase two involves napping.

Biggest Obstacle

Thank you for voting.
Biggest Obstacle - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 27, 2016's comic on:


Tags #criticism, #honesty, #success

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: What is your biggest obstacle to success on this project? Dilbert: It's you. It's always you. Should I add that to the business plan? Boss: Let's keep it general.

Wally Heads Up Ai Project

Thank you for voting.
Wally Heads Up Ai Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 20, 2016's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #project, #fake

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Wally, I need you to head up our artificial intelligence project. You will have no budget and no hope of success. I just like saying we're working on AI. And you're completely useless, so it's a good match. Wally: I won't let you down.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 15, 2016's comic on:


Tags #expectations, #unrealistic, #project, #group, #laziness, #prediction

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: When do you expect to finish your project? Dilbert: Never. Boss: That's your plan? Dilbert: No, my plan is to be done in a week. You asked me what I expect. I base my expectations on the quality of people you assigned to my project without asking my opinion. The time-wasters outnumber the productive people on the team by three to one. Under that scenario, plus your total lack of leadership, the world will end before this project does. Boss: Then why is your plan to be done in a week? Dilbert: Because you don't like it when I tell the truth. Boss: Let's compromise on two weeks. Dilbert: Can we set those two weeks on auto-renew?