Previous Manager Killed Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

240 Results for Previous Manager Killed

View 31 - 40 results for previous manager killed comic strips. Discover the best "Previous Manager Killed" comics from Dilbert.com.

Emoji Death Contract

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Emoji Death Contract - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #crime, #communication, #miscommunication, #text, #emoji, #language, #murder, #accident, #coverup, #conspiracy

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: We killed Ted, as you ordered in your clever text message full of emojis. Boss: That wasn't what I... Dilbert: Deniability. Got it. Wally: We didn't have this conversation.

If All You Have Is A Hammer

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
If All You Have Is A Hammer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #nail, #problem, #manager, #violence, #hitting, #hit, #hammer, #aphorism

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Alice, if all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. [Alice sees the boss as a nail]. Alice: That is not the dumbest thing you have ever said. Boss: Thank you.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #manager, #work, #results, #observation, #thinking, #strategy, #proof, #evidence

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I did a huge amount of work this week. I created a matrix that compares all of our technology options. Boss: Can I see this alleged matrix? Wally: It's in my head. I didn't see a need to write it down. Boss: How would I know if you did it right? Wally: You're not an engineer, so you wouldn't know it was right even if you saw it. You tell me to "work smarter" but you get angry when I do. Boss: You're not allowed to do your work in your head! Wally: Which body part do you use?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #martial arts, #yoga, #stupid, #idiot, #confusion, #tai chi, #karate, #misunderstanding

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I signed up for a martial arts class. It's something called "yoga." Carol: Have you killed anyone yet? Boss: Not on purpose.

Wally Drains Robot

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Drains Robot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #robot, #technology, #murder, #killing, #power, #laziness, #work ethic, #weapon

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: You killed ten thousand medical nanorobots by exposure to your bloodstream. That makes you the biggest mass murderer of robots in history. Gaaa!!! Why is my power supply draining so rapidly? Wally: Run.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #manager, #inspiration, #entrepreneur, #risk, #irony, #catch-22, #creativity, #creative, #motivation

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I want you to think like entrepreneurs. Dilbert: Should we take huge risks? Boss: No, the stockholders would hate that. Alice: Should we act as though we have no boss? Boss: NO. That would be chaos. Dilbert: Will we become billionaires if we succeed? Boss: Raises are capped at 3% this year. I'm just saying you should be more creative. Dilbert: and then we should act? Boss: No, that's when the problems happen.

Boss Falls Off Bridge

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Falls Off Bridge - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #walking, #meeting, #meetings, #accident, #difficult, #gimmick, #manager, #idea, #ideas, #distraction, #Sports, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: My new thing is taking long walks instead of having meetings. Wow. It is hard to walk, read, think, talk, and drink coffee at the same time. Dilbert: He fell off a bridge. Carol: That's why I schedule walking meetings for him.

Software Killed Ted

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Software Killed Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #invention, #software, #free will, #behavior, #murder, #anger, #glitch, #malfunction, #control, #self control, #psychology, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I have a report that you killed Ted in a cafeteria brawl. Dilbert: Not exactly. My brain stimulator had a software glitch, and it made me homicidal for a minute. Boss: So... you're a murderer, right? Dilbert: Software killed Ted. I was only the weapon.

Manager Of The Year Award

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Manager Of The Year Award - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #attendance, #manager, #management, #laissez faire, #cause and effect, #award, #accolade

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Employees voted you "Manager of the Year." As usual, this honor is going to the manager with the worst attendance. We're hoping it's more of a correlation than a causation thing.

Whistleblower Laws

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Whistleblower Laws - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #law, #legal issues, #lawyer, #on the lam, #whistleblower, #technicality, #loophole, #legal

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I thought you were on the run from killing government agents. Dilbert: I only killed the bad ones. My lawyer says that's legal now under the whistleblower laws. [Earlier That Day] Dogbert: It was a tad aggressive, but I think you're fine.