Project Post Mortem Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

692 Results for Project Post Mortem

View 31 - 40 results for project post mortem comic strips. Discover the best "Project Post Mortem" comics from Dilbert.com.

Self Reliant

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Self Reliant - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #project, #teamwork, #help, #teach, #self-reliant

View Transcript

Transcript

boss to wally: ted says you wouldn't help him on his project. wally: i was teaching him how to be self-reliant. that's important too, isn't it? not such an easy question, is it?

View more books now

Project Update

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Project Update - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #project, #update, #plan, #read, #imaginary

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: did you send me your project update? dilbert: were you planning to read it? boss: no dilbert: then i totally sent it too you boss thinking: half of my job is imaginary

Wally Wears Headphones

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Wears Headphones - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #irritation, #office workers, #avoidance, #hear, #headphones

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Do you have a minute? Wally: I can't hear you because I'm wearing noise-cancelling headphones. Alice: Maybe you could take them off for a minute. Wally: I have no idea what you are saying because I'm wearing noise-cancelling headphones. Alice: Then take them off! Wally: If I am reading your lips correctly, I believe you are asking me to "flurp tingo gloop". Alice: Forget it! I'll just let my project fail! Dilbert: How is your anti-co-worker defense system working out? Wally: I can't hear you.

Ignorant Opinions

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ignorant Opinions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #criticism, #insults, #office workers, #Opinion, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: I told your boss I think your project is heading in the wrong direction. Dilbert: Given that you only know about 20% of what one should know to have an informed opinion on the topic, may I conclude that you are stupid and toxic? Man: You don't know me! Dilbert: I'm basing my opinion on the 20% I do know.

Scourge Of Teamwork

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Scourge Of Teamwork - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #help, #insults, #office workers, #work, #teams

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Do you need any help on your project? Dilbert: No, I try to avoid the scourge of teamwork when-ever possible. Man: Isn't there any way I can be of service? Dilbert: Maybe you could offer to help someone I hate.

Poor Communication Skills

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Poor Communication Skills - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #communication, #employees, #office, #office workers, #questions, #projects

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Would you like to be on my project team? Dilbert: Hard pass. Your communication skills are so poor that the project is doomed to failure. Man: I meant to say your boss already assigned you to my project. Dilbert: We're off to a good start.

Can't Succeed Within The Rules

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Can't Succeed Within The Rules - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #failure, #managers & supervisors, #rules, #success

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: if i follow all of our internal rules, my project will fail because of delays. and if i don't follow the rules, you will fire me. what should i do? boss: i like the option where the project is a success but you're a failure.

The New Consultant

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
The New Consultant - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #success

View Transcript

Transcript

the new consultant: i'll need the support of every department to make this project a success. boss: i won't get any credit if your project succeeds, and you'll be gone in a month. consultant: can i count on you to not sabotage the project? boss: you're coming off as needy.

Finding A Scapegoat

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Finding A Scapegoat - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #project, #ceo, #scapegaot, #climate change

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: we'll need a scapegoat to blame for our failure on this project. dilbert: no one will believe it wasn't our fault. the boss: are you kidding? the boss: people will believe anything. the boss: we just have to be the first to frame the situation. dilbert: i suppose we could make our lie sound credible. the boss: that's overkill. dilbert: we don't need to sound credible? the boss: not even a little. the boss is in ceo's office. the boss: our project failed because of climate change. ceo: that sounds right.

Drooling Incompetents

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Drooling Incompetents - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #office, #office workers, #competent, #incompetent

View Transcript

Transcript

wally at team meeting. wally: i've been asked to lead this project toward failure so my boss can convince our ceo to cancel it. wally: i'd like all of the competent people on the team to step aside, while the drooling incompetents who remain drive it into a ditch. office worker: how can we know who among us are the competent ones? wally: well, for starters, they don't ask that question.