Proud Comic Strips - Page 4
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43 Results for Proud
View 31 - 40 results for proud comic strips. Discover the best "Proud" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday July 27,
1998
Tags Dilbert, mother, buy wquipment, budget cut, navy seal, mom proud, blocks reality, doesn't hear son, Family
Transcript
Dilbert and Dilbert's Mom are in the kitchen. Dilbert says, "My boss told me to buy a bunch of equipment that we don't need." Dilbert's Mom hands Dilbert a piece of cake and a glass of milk. Dilbert says, "That way our budget won't get cut next year." Dilbert's mom says, "I'm so proud of you, son." Dilbert says, "How do you say that with a straight face?" Dilbert's mom says, "I try to imagine you as a navy seal." Dilbert's mom salutes.
Friday July 17,
1998
Tags project plan, strategy, leadership, radiates, boss ego, proud, strategy is plan
Transcript
Dilbert at his computer terminal. The Boss says, "Is your project plan done?" Diblert ressonds, "I can't do a plan until you tell me the strategy." The Boss says, "My strategy is to make you do a plan." Dilbert stares at his computer. The Boss walks away and thinks, "Sometimes the leadership just radiates from my body."
Sunday December 07,
1997
Tags weekly, wally status report, process pride, impact on earnings, pride in results, high level, morale, pride in process
Transcript
The Boss, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conferance table. Wally says, "It is my pleasure to present the weekly 'Wally status report'." Wally says, "This week I developed what I call 'process pride'." Wally says, "It all started when I realized that I have no impact on earnings." Wally says, "Obviously I can't take pride in the RESULTS of my work." Dilbert says, "Obviously." Wally says, "But I need pride. Otherwise, how could Imantain my high level of morale?" Wally says, "So I learned to take pride in my processes instead of my results." Wally says, "Everything I do is still pointless. But I am very proud of the way I do it." The Boss says, "Is that all you did this week?" Wally says, "Hey, I'm only one person."
Sunday October 29,
1995
Tags dilbert needs staples, asks secreatry, need order number, supply catalog, wally borrowed, wally needs help, alice needs meeting, new vendor, almost stapled
Transcript
Dilbert asks a secretary, "Helen, do you have any staples in the supply cabinet?" Helen replies, "No, I only stock the basics: cheap pens with green ink, big jars of glue and ribbons for obsolete printers." Dilbert asks, "Could you order some staples?" Helen says, "You need to give me the order number." Dilbert says, "Okay. Can I see your supply catalog?" Helen replies, "Wally borrowed it." Dilbert covers his eyes and sobs. The phone rings and Helen says, "I'd better get that; it might be personal." Dilbert stands in the doorway and says, "Wally, do you have the . . ." Wally interrupts, "I need your help with this. Pull up a chair." Alice appears and says, "I need both of you to come talk to a vendor that we'll never use." Dilbert arrives at home and tells Dogbert, "Thanks to teamwork, I almost stapled something today." Dogbert says, "I'm so proud to know you."
Sunday October 08,
1995
Tags primitive, donut scavenging man, yellow sticky notes, humiliation, live off land, bountiful harvest, dance to gods, meeting notices
Transcript
Wally, Dilbert and Alice walk out of a conference room. Wally says, "That's four hours that I'd like to have back." Dilbert asks, "Who called that meeting anyway?" Dilbert says, "I must have left my calendar in there." Dilbert walks into the room and sees a man grabbing doughnuts from a plate on the conference table. Dilbert says, "I've discovered a primitive donut-scavenging man clad only in yellow sticky notes!!" The man says, "I was once like you, before the great rif." The man continues, "But rather than leave in humiliation I decided to stay and live off the land like our proud ancestors." The man says as he dances, "To ensure a bountiful harvest I do my donut dance to the gods." The man continues, "When that doesn't work I distribute meeting notices." Dilbert shouts, "YOU're the one!!"
Tuesday November 22,
1994
Tags dogbert the consultant, warranty replacements, customers, repeat customers
Transcript
DOGBERT THE CONSULTANT Dogbert and the Boss sit at a conference table. Dogbert says, "You can gauge your success by the number of repeat customers you have." The Boss says, "I'm proud to say that virtually every customer gets another unit within three months of buying the first one!" Dogbert asks, "What if you don't count warranty replacements?" The Boss replies, "Ooh . . . Then we don't look so good."
Thursday September 29,
1994
Tags new strategy, tech support, that customers, user manual, defective products
Transcript
The Boss: Our new strategy is to make defective products and charge for technical support. Heh- heh ...our user manual is totally incomprehensible. we didn't plan it that way - we were lucky, Dilbert: Im so proud to be here. The Boss: It all came together when I realized I hate our customers.
Sunday February 13,
1994
Tags insensitive, Dogbert, dog bashing, born this way, no campassion, feel bad, who cares?, insensitive about insensitivity
Transcript
"That joke was not funny. You're insensitive, Dogbert." "Well, here we go with the 'insensitive dog bashing'." "Is it my fault I was born without the ability to sense the feelings of others?" "Oh, sure, I wish I could be like you." "Somehow you know exactly what it feels like to a different gender, race, lifestyle or body." "But I'm insensitive. All I know is how I feel!! And I'm proud of it!" "But you'd understand that, if you weren't insensitive about insensitivity!!" "When you put it like that, I feel kinda bad." "Who cares?"
Thursday June 18,
1992
Tags the boss, Dilbert, alice, company, dehumanize, employees, identification, badges, symbolizes, cafeteria, alfalfa
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert and a woman, "I'm proud to announce that the company has found yet another way to dehumanize the employees." The Boss continues, "From now on you will wear identification badges at work. This symbolizes that people who look like you are often criminals." The Boss adds, "Oh . . . And the cafeteria is closed. We'll just lay down some alfalfa in the break room."
Monday July 15,
1991
Tags ratbert, disguise, chihuahua, prejudice, oscar, race relations, Dogbert, pillow
Transcript
Dogbert sits on his pillow. Ratbert says to Dogbert, "I'm going to disguise myself as a Chihuahua for a week." Ratbert continues, "Then I'll make a movie about prejudice against Chihuahuas!!" Ratbert continues, "When I win an Oscar, I'll turn it down and say 'This is for my brothers, the proud Chihuahuas.'" Dogbert says, "Go away."


