Raise Money Comic Strips - Page 4

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768 Results for Raise Money

View 31 - 40 results for raise money comic strips. Discover the best "Raise Money" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #budget, #business, #office, #raise, #project

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the boss: i can't give you a raise because you did not complete your project. dilbert: that's because you canceled my project for budget reasons and assigned me to work on another project. the boss: did you finish your new project? dilbert: you only recently assigned it to me. the boss: apparently, i keep giving you work, but you never complete any of it. dilbert visually distressed: that is a total distortion of what happened! dilbert: i can't reward you for having good intentions and finishing nothing! dilbert: why not wait and see now i do on my current project? the boss: we don't need that anymore.

Winners Never Quit

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Winners Never Quit - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm, #inspirational quotes

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the boss: i'm not having much luck with my inspirational quotes, but i thought i would try one more time. the boss: "winners never quit, and quitters never win." dilbert: when ted quit, you gave him a raise to stay. the boss: these work better when you don't think about them.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #employees, #office, #office workers, #pay raise, #employee of the year

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the boss: i'm looking for nominations for employee of the year. the boss: does anyone have a suggestion? dilbert: hypothetically, would the winner of this award be likely to get a larger-than-normal pay raise? the boss: i would think so, yes. dilbert: and is it true that our budget for raises is limited? the boss: yes, of course. dilbert: would it not be against my best interests to nominate an employee who is competing with me for scarce resources? the boss: let's just forget i brought it up. dilbert: i nominate myself.

Paying The Replacement More

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Paying The Replacement More - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #pay raise

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dilbert: if i were to quit, you would have to pay my replacement more than you are paying me. dilbert: wouldn't it be more fair to give me a raise to stay? the boss: how would that be fair to your replacement?

Wally Needs A Raise

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Wally Needs A Raise - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #system, #architect, #Promotion, #pay raise

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wally: our new system installation is a catastrophe. wally: we need to tear it out and re-architect it from scratch. wally: i'm the only person qualified to lead that effort. wally: but given the enormity of the job, i won't do it without a raise or promotion. the boss: weren't you the cause of the catastrophe? wally: exactly: that's why i'm the only person who knows how to fix it. the boss: are you blackmailing me? wally: no, it's nothing like that. the boss: wouldn't i be rewarding you for failure? wally: let's not label it.

Be More Like Alice

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Be More Like Alice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #complain, #office, #office workers, #pay raise

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the boss: i can't give you a raise because you didn't do anything noteworthy this year. dilbert: it only seems that way because i'm so good at my job that i make it look easy and never complain. alice visually upset and yelling: my job is a nightmare!!! the boss: why can't you be more like alice?

Teaching Ai To Flirt

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Teaching Ai To Flirt - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bank, #business, #office, #office workers, #robot

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dilbert talking to the boss. dilbert: i taught my a.i. software to flirt with humans. dilbert: by day three, i had fallen in love, and it drained my bank account to buy a robot body. robot: demand a raise you wimp! dilbert: help m

Nuclear Power Invention

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Nuclear Power Invention - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #money, #office, #office workers, #nuclear power

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dilbert: i invented a new type of nuclear power that has zero risk. dilbert: it can be built in one day for less that a thousand dollars and it can power a small city. the boss visually upset and yelling: get that thing out of here! dilbert: i expect it will be hard to sell.

Dilbert Quits To Get A Raise

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Dilbert Quits To Get A Raise - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #boss, #conscience, #rethink, #quit, #raise, #going along, #don't, #ruin

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Dilbert: I can't in good conscience support inaccurate health claims about our products. I quit. Boss: I'll give you 20% raise if you stay. Wally: I quit too, because of all the ethnics and stuffs. Dilbert: Don't ruin this for me.

Hiring Unethical Scientist

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Hiring Unethical Scientist - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #suspicious, #boss, #lawyer, #help, #search, #straightforward, #scientist, #bidding, #money

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Boss: We're looking for a scientist who can be easily influenced by money to back our product claims. Lawyer: I'm perfect for that job. I have no ethnical boundaries whatsoever. Boss: But you won't try to con us, right? Lawyer: You can't have it both ways.