Random Reorgozations Comic Strips - Page 4

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62 Results for Random Reorgozations

View 31 - 40 results for random reorgozations comic strips. Discover the best "Random Reorgozations" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 02, 2007's comic on:


Tags #user interface, #add button, #random changes, #create illusion, #adding value

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The Boss: Why did you add this button to the user interface? Dilbert: You told me to. The boss: Why would I tell you that? Dilbert: You always suggest random changes to create the illusion of adding value. The Boss: Well, remove that button. Dilbert: It's only on your copy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 07, 2006's comic on:


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"Human resources tells me that you refused to take the random drug test." "I didn't refuse. I literally can't do it because I have a shy bladder. It's a medical condition that 7% of men have." "I hope you will understand." "It's a side effect of the nose candy, right?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 28, 2005's comic on:


Tags #new guy, #project staus report, #random pharse, #generatormmeail, #listens, #when he's talking

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"Alice, can you show the new guy how to do a project status report?" "He doesn't read them, so we all use a random phrase generator. I'll e-mail it to you." "You said that in front of him." "He only listens when he's talking."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 13, 2003's comic on:


Tags #feet off desk, #random mangement, #stock rise, #so random, #commands

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The Boss: "Take your feet off the desk." Dilbert: "Is this an example of random management or do you think it will make our stock rise?" The Boss: "It's up .02%. Heh-heh-heh, not so random after all."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 07, 2003's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #headhunter, #stock up, #ceo, #random upturns, #make millions, #changing jobs, #legal, #victims

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Dogbert sits at a desk. He says into the phone, "This is Dogbert the Headhunter. I noticed that your company's stock is up today." Dogbert continues, "As CEO, you can take credit for random upturns and make millions by changing jobs." Dogbert continues, "Ha, ha! Yes, it's legal. In fact, if you write a book, your victims will buy it!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 27, 2002's comic on:


Tags #management decision, #too distarcted, #make informed decison, #random, #no answer

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Dilbert says to The Boss, "...And that's why I need a management decision." The Boss says, "Hi, Bill!" Dilbert says, "But you are too distracted to make an informed decision, so this will be random." The Boss says, "Bob!" Dilbert says, "And here it comes." The Boss replies, "Would 'No' be an answer to anything you said?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 25, 2001's comic on:


Tags #tour of accounting, #random number geneartor, #randomness

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Headline: Tour of Accounting. Dilbert is wiping spit off of himself with a towel. A troll tour guide says, "Over here we have our random number generator." The troll places its hands on a slab of rock and relays the message of "nine nine nine nine." Dilbert asks, "Are you sure that's random?" The troll responds, "That's the problem with randomness. You can never be sure."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 19, 2001's comic on:


Tags #ratbert, #can't sleep, #tell story, #pointy haired monster, #cry, #dilbert bedtime story, #tells life story, #rat crys

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Dilbert is sitting on his couch in his bathrobe. His pet rat approaches on the arm rest and says, "I can't sleep. Would you tell me a story." The rat is cuddled under a blanket on the couch. Dilbert begins his story: "Once upon a time there was a pointy-haired monster." He continues, "He promised riches to the villagers if they could achieve his random objectives." The rat begins to get drowsy. Dilbert continues his story: "The villagers worked long hours but they were happy and optimistic." Dilbert continues, "Suddenly the evil monster cut their funding and hired the village idiot to be project manager." Dilbert continues, "And that is how the villagers got trapped in meetings for all eternity. The end." The rat opens its eyes wide in horror. The rat cries, "Waaa!! Waaa!! Waaa!!" Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Rats cry when they hear about my life." Dogbert responds, "It never pays to listen."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 19, 2001's comic on:


Tags #co pilot seat, #fly 747, #pilot, #chiroparcter, #people flying plane, #commercial airline, #over booked, #random

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Dilbert stands in front of an airline desk speaking with a flight attendant. The flight attendant says, "We overbooked. But I can give you the co-pilot's seat if you know how to fly a 747." Dilbert stands in front of a long line of people and says, "Um...Yeah, okay. I can fly a 747." Dilbert is in the cockpit of a plane with another guy. Dilbert asks, "Should I do something?" The guy replies, "Beats me. I'm a chiropractor."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 27, 2000's comic on:


Tags #random drug tests, #unpleasent, #offer free cashews, #Charlie Brown

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Dilbert reaches for a cup as a Doctor says, "We know these random drug tests are unpleasant for employees." The Doctor holds out a dish and says, "That's why we offer free cashews." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Suddenly I thought of Charlie Brown but I don't know why."