Relations Between The Sexes Comic Strips - Page 4
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174 Results for Relations Between The Sexes
View 31 - 40 results for relations between the sexes comic strips. Discover the best "Relations Between The Sexes" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday May 31,
2014
Tags relations between the sexes, Women, boss, injected, job performance drugs, jerk, kryptonite, evolution, physical attributes
Transcript
Dilbert: our boss injected me with job performance enhancing drugs. Alice: Gaaa!!! Evolution has made me attracted to your physical attributes! Dilbert: I'm sort of a jerk now. Alice: Noooo! That's my kryptonite!
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Friday April 04,
2014
Tags complaints, skunk opera, analogies, understand analogies, employees complain, office, cubicle, human relations
Transcript
Boss: Sheesh! It feels as if every employee is complaining about one thing or another today. Carol: Maybe it's because your leadership has turned this place into a skunk opera. Luckily, you don't understand analogies. Boss: That one is about singing.
Sunday December 15,
2013
Tags cosmetics, relations between the sexes, awful smell, new fragrance, pepper spray, half gym sock, dual purpose, odiferous moat, weaker applicants, tweak
Transcript
Dilbert: What's that awful smell? Wally: My new fragrance. It's half pepper spray and half gym sock. It has a dual purpose. The pepper spray is so I can build up an immunity to it. Dilbert: That'll probably come in handy someday. Wally: Right? The second purpose is to crate an odiferous moat around me to discourage the weaker romantic applicants. Carol: Unh!!! Wally: I might need to tweak the formula.
Sunday July 21,
2013
Tags dating, frustration, relations between the sexes, modern world, purpose of men, money, bad jokes, faltulence, useless men, pondering on importance, relationships
Transcript
Woman: I'm not sure what function men serve in the modern world. My job pays well, so I have all the money I need. If something in my house breaks, I either fix it or pay someone to fix it. If I want a baby, I'll call a fertility doctor. In today's world, men are little more than carriers of bad jokes and flatulence. My gardener mows my lawn. Dilbert: I get it!!! Dogbert: That is disturbing. Dilbert: Not compared to the alternatives.
Saturday June 08,
2013
Tags honesty, relations between the sexes, collaborate, sexism, water down, interpretation
Transcript
Boss: Alice, I want you to collaborate with Larry. Alice: And by collaborate you mean water down my brilliance with this dullard's brain flatulence. Boss: She doesn't play well with others. Alice: If I were a man, you'd call it confidence.
Sunday March 24,
2013
Tags happiness, work ethic, workplace happiness, direct deposit, mental distance, effort, paycheck, no clear goal, doing good work, job satisafaction, stress related problems, highly demotivated, psychology
Transcript
Asok: Wally, what is the key to workplace happiness? Wally: Well, Asok, it all starts with direct deposit. You want to keep some mental distance between your effort and your paycheck. Next, you want to work on projects that have no clear goals or deadlines. Coworker: Hey, Wally, can you... Wally: No, I'm too busy doing various things. Asok: What about the satisfaction of doing good work? Wally: Job satisfaction is what people feel right before they die from stress-related problems. Asok: I feel highly demotivated right now. Wally: You are very welcome.
Wednesday July 04,
2012
Tags stock market, no raise, accomplished nothing, invest in penny stocks, hot stock tips, narrowed the gap, money
Transcript
Boss: Wally, I can't give you a raise because you accomplished nothing this year. Wally: That's okay because I make a fortune investing in penny stocks. Do you want some hot stock tips? Dilbert: Did you get a raise. Wally: No, but I narrowed the gap between his income and mine.
Tuesday April 17,
2012
Tags inventions, quantum computer, prototype, success, in between state
Transcript
Boss: How's your quantum computer prototype coming along? Wally: Great! The project exists in a simultaneous state of being both totally successful and not even started. Boss: Can I observe it? Wally: That's a tricky question.
Sunday April 15,
2012
Tags correlations, predicted outcomes, problem, enormous ceo compensation, myth, control over profits, awkward, trap door, ceo trick, violent
Transcript
Dilbert: I did a study of our past business plans and found something. There's no correlation between our predicted and actual outcomes. That might be a problem for you. Your enormous CEO compensation is based on the myth that you have some control over our profitability. CEO: Ha! Dilbert: Ha! CEO: Is it just me or is this awkward? Dilbert: No, I'm feeling it too.
Sunday April 01,
2012
Tags being freightened, creepy vibe, leadership, obsolete, public speaking, sense of urgency, thread the needle, tech platforms
Transcript
Dogbert: You need to imbue your staff with a sense of urgency. Boss: Gaaa!!! Our technology platforms are obsolete! Dogbert: Try it again with less panic. Boss: We're doomed, and yet, I am not the least bit worried. Dogbert: That one had a creepy vibe. A sense of urgency is halfway between being too frightened to act and too dumb to know what to do. Boss: Gaaa!!! Duh!!! Dogbert: You didn't quite thread the needle. Boss: Here comes leadership!


