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Dilbert: We removed the neural interface to your brain. Do you remember anything we made you do? Boss: No, not a thing. Dilbert: That's probably for the best. Boss: Did I break any laws? Alice: Not according to the cop you dated for three days.
Dilbert: Maybe we should remove the neural interface so his natural brain works again. Alice: Or... and this is just a thought-- we could create an app that makes him jump off the roof. Dilbert: Would that be murder or suicide? Alice: All we need is reasonable doubt.
Dilbert: The neural interface is live. His brain is now communicating with his phone. Alice: He's sending me a brain-text. It says "Please help me. My phone has taken control of my body." Dilbert: It worked! Alice: Now we just need to write an app that makes him a better boss.
Dilbert: When I press this button, your brain will form a neural link to your phone. Boss: Then I can control my phone with my thoughts? Dilbert: No, your phone will control you. Boss: Hey, I didn't agree to... Dilbert: Too late. Narrator: Continued...
Tina: Did I leave out any risks on the product warning page? Boss: I don't see anything about the risk of overeating while owning the product. Tina: Our product has nothing to do with eating. Boss: Then why did I gain weight when I used it?
Boss; Ted, we need a volunteer to test the time machine prototype. Ted: Is it safe? Boss: Of course it is. Would I ask you to risk your life if it were not safe? Ted: Yes. Boss: Oh, I didn't realize you knew that. But don't worry. The engineering consensus is that it will work. Dilbert: You will return to this exact spot in one day. Alice: Does our location algorithm account for planetary movement? Ted: I should have asked more questions.
Asok: Do you have any advice for my presentation to the CEO? Dilbert: Sure. If you make one small mistake, your career will be finished. Asok: You just made me nervous and thus doubled my risk of failure. Dilbert: I'm not the one who brought it up.
Randy: I am using the microchip in my brain to plan the entire project. Okay... done. The rest of you can go back to your cubicles and continue doing nothing. Wally: I spent my entire life getting ready for this sort of future and it's going down easy.
Boss: I'm putting Randy on your project. He has a microchip embedded in his brain. So ignore whatever your inferior brain tells you to do and just listen to Randy. Dilbert: Doesn't that make me dispensable? Boss: We'll talk about Phase 2 later.
Narrator: Randy is one of the first humans with a microchip embedded in his brain. This new technology will change how we view the human experience. It will also ruin comic strips by filling them with too much exposition. Dogbert: The punc line is in the fourth panel.