Ruin Productivity Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

143 Results for Ruin Productivity

View 31 - 40 results for ruin productivity comic strips. Discover the best "Ruin Productivity" comics from Dilbert.com.

Remove Yourself

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Remove Yourself - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags distraction, irony, productivity

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: As the designated agile scrum, it is my job to remove distractions so you can work. Alice: Great. Remove yourself from my cubicle and you've done your job. Dilbert: That seems too easy. Alice: And yet you can't do it.

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Faking Their Own Deaths

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Faking Their Own Deaths - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers, distraction, subversion, alias, espionage, hiding, productivity

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My job as the team scrum for our agile methodology is to remove distractions so you can work. I've created fake identities for each of us, and I'll be spreading the rumor that we all died. Carol: I heard they all died. Boss: Nice try. I will find them!

Standup Meeting

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Standup Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags software, engineer, coding, jargon, language, technology, engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Are you coming to the standup meeting? Wally: Is it okay if I sit instead? Dilbert: No, that would ruin the software. Dilbert: Did that make sense when I said it? Wally: No, and it isn't aging well either.

Wally Doesn't Open Email

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Doesn't Open Email - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags aversion, avoiding, communication, email, evasion, excuse, work ethic

View Transcript

Transcript

Did you get the file I sent by email? No. If i open email I'll see thirty urgent messages that will ruin my entire day. Can you open it tomorrow? You should try to live in the moment.

Ruining Dilbert's Flow

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ruining Dilbert's Flow - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags stress, deadline, work load, multitask, compensation, money

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm giving you another software project to work on at the same time as your main project. Dilbert: That will ruin my flow. It will take too long to reset my brain when I switch between projects. Boss: Have you tried working longer hours without extra pay? Dilbert: Yes I have!

Programming Environment

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Programming Environment - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags productivity, programmer, engineer, developer, engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Did you finish writing the software? Dilbert: No. I spent the last three days setting up my programming environment. Boss: So... you've done... nothing? Dilbert: Nothing you'd understand.

Acting Interested In Dilbert

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Acting Interested In Dilbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers, relationships, human, humanity, productivity, motivation

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm supposed to act interested in your well-being to boost your job performance. Dilbert: No thanks. Boss: So... how's your wife, or girlfriend, or same-sex partner, or loneliness? Dilbert: Fine. Boss: Okay, I think that covers it. Dilbert: Look! My productivity is soaring!

Alice Takes On More Work

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Alice Takes On More Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work ethic, laziness, workload, philosophy, semantics

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Why do I keep taking on more work while you do noting? Wally: That's because you optimize for productivity, while I optimize for my happiness. Alice: That makes you a freeloader. Wally: I prefer the label "happy winner."

Coworkers Hate Wally For Some Reason

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Coworkers Hate Wally For Some Reason - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, work ethic, excuses, ego, conceited, productivity

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: My co-workers don't take me seriously because I'm so good looking. And I think they hate me for my brilliant mind. All I know is that they hate me. So if I seem unproductive, it's because of my beauty and brilliance.

Duplicating Effort

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Duplicating Effort - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags management, productivity, absent mindedness, forgetful, duplicate

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Great update, Ted. Now let's hear what Dilbert did this week. Dilbert: I unnecessarily duplicated Ted's work because you forgot you asked bot of us to do the same task. Boss: And how about Alice? Alice: You're three for three.