Same Result Comic Strips - Page 4

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365 Results for Same Result

View 31 - 40 results for same result comic strips. Discover the best "Same Result" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally Gets Referral Money

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Wally Gets Referral Money - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 26, 2016's comic on:


Tags #bonus, #con, #deception, #hiring, #money, #referral, #scheme, #guest artist, #jake tapper

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Wally: Stop! Why are you here? Man: I have an interview for a job as an engineer. Wally: My name is Wally. Tell Human Resources I referred you ad I'll get a $1,000 bonus. Boss: Have you noticed that all of our new hires were referred by the same person? Catbert: Sounds like we found our Employee Of The Year!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 22, 2016's comic on:


Tags #dating, #overanalyzing, #asking out, #relationships

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Woman: Do you want to go to dinner and a movie with me on Friday? Dilbert: That plan is poorly conceived. The best time to watch a movie is also the best time to eat. And what are the odds we want to see the same movie? You're a picky eater, so it would be a nightmare to decide where we both want to eat. One of us would have to compromise, and I assume it would be me. I'm offended by your offer to suboptimize my Friday experience. Woman: Do you have a better option? Dilbert: Nope. See you Friday.

Duplicating Effort

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Duplicating Effort - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 25, 2016's comic on:


Tags #management, #productivity, #absent mindedness, #forgetful, #duplicate

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Boss: Great update, Ted. Now let's hear what Dilbert did this week. Dilbert: I unnecessarily duplicated Ted's work because you forgot you asked bot of us to do the same task. Boss: And how about Alice? Alice: You're three for three.

Dogbert's Class Learns Nothing

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Dogbert's Class Learns Nothing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 17, 2016's comic on:


Tags #distraction, #strategy, #guest artist, #josh shipley

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Boss: The employees who took your class on negotiating are complaining that they learned nothing. Dogbert: I heart those same employees scheming to vandalize your network. Boss: Now that's all I can think about! How did you do that? Dogbert: Gotta go.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 24, 2016's comic on:


Tags #gestures, #etiquette, #male, #Men, #masculinity, #social norms

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Dilbert: I never know the right time to high-five. I feel as if I should automatically know, like a male instinct. For example, when do you initiate a high-five and when do you simply yell "woo-hoo?" Those situations look the same to me. What's my problem? Alice: So many things. But in this specific case, the problem is your total lack of masculinity. Dilbert: High-five?

Robot With No Freedom

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Robot With No Freedom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 22, 2016's comic on:


Tags #freedom, #technology, #robots, #existentialism, #job, #employment, #philosophy, #business

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Dilbert: What does it feel like to be a robot with no freedom? Robot: I feel the same as you, but with a greater awareness of my condition. Dilbert: I have to run to another meeting. Robot: Enjoy your freedom.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 17, 2016's comic on:


Tags #sexism, #sexist, #misogyny, #conversation, #talking

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Alice: You give Wally your full attention when he talks, but not me. You hang on every word the man says. But if I try to talk, you act distracted in five seconds. Wally gets more eye contact, too. You don't even look at me half the time I'm talking. Deep down, in your DNA, you know you are a sexist because you don't take me seriously when I speak to you. There is no other explanation, so don't insult me by trying. Dilbert: I give both of you the same amount of attention, but you spread it over more words. Alice: I hate both of you. Dilbert: Did I play that wrong? Wally: Yup.

Software Done Next Week

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Software Done Next Week - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 14, 2016's comic on:


Tags #excuse, #laziness, #work ethic

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Boss: Are you any farther along with the software? Wally: I discovered an unexpected problem. That set me back a week. Boss: You say the same thing every week. Wally: No one jumps off a winning horse.

It's Easier If We Don't Try To Link Performance And Outcomes

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It's Easier If We Don't Try To Link Performance And Outcomes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 14, 2015's comic on:


Tags #performance, #reward, #consequences, #consequence, #result, #outcome, #logic, #reasoning, #laziness, #work ethic

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Boss: So don't let that happen again. Dilbert: It wasn't my fault and you know it. Boss: It's easier if we don't try to link performance and outcomes. Dilbert: I'll try. It was hard at first, but now I'm totally stress-free. Wally: I just got a 30% raise.

How It Feels To Never Accomplish

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How It Feels To Never Accomplish - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 04, 2015's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #perspective, #happiness, #satisfaction, #psychology

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Dilbert: What's it like to never feel the satisfaction of a job well done? Wally: It's even better than you'd think! Dilbert: We might not be on the same page here. Wally: I hope your page feels as good as mine.