Save Unicorn Dna Comic Strips - Page 4

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View 31 - 40 results for save unicorn dna comic strips. Discover the best "Save Unicorn Dna" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #obstinacy, #public speaking, #thinking, #vet ideas, #peers, #hate ideas

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Dilbert: I've been asked to vet my idea with my peers. To save time, I am willing to stipulate that you hate all ideas that are not your own. All in favor? Alice: I hate this idea, too.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lifesaving, #office workers, #interns, #accident, #organs harvested, #to save intern

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Asok: I know it feels unimportant to be an intern to another intern, but if I ever get into a serious accident then... Coworker: I would step into your job? Asok: I was going to say your organs will be harvested to save me, but now you've made it awkward. Coworker: Sorry!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #work ethic, #top engineers, #competetors, #firing, #get rid of, #updating resume, #goes as planned, #hideous disese, #felt useuful, #threatening employment

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Boss: Wally, I'm sending you to a conference for the world's top engineers. With any luck, one of our competitors will try to poach you. That will save me the trouble of firing you. You'll be going with five other people I want to get rid of. I took the liberty of updating your resume. If this goes as planned, you'll destroy one of our competitors from within. Like a hideous disease. Make me proud! Wally: It was the first time I ever felt useful. I didn't like it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #clubs, #meetings, #rich people, #tiny flying unicron, #commodities, #1% club, #imagination, #Entertainment

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Wally: A tiny flying unicorn gave me this key. Guard: Grab a snout and a hat. We're just about to manipulate the commodities market. Wally: Is it my imagination or everything a little bit better here?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #actions & defenses, #billion dollars, #business ethics, #golden key, #rich people, #top 1%, #flying unicorn

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Boss: Here's a billion dollars to settle your claim of discrimination against short, bald, nearsighted guys. Wally: I'm in the top 1% now. I wonder where we hold our secret meetings. Boss: Ask the tiny flying unicorn with the golden key.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #interviews, #suspicion, #job interview, #brand online, #blog, #tweets, #facebook, #credit, #criminal record, #transcripts, #refrences, #external stuff, #attitude, #yrine test, #dna test, #tanning bed, #mri, #psychology

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Job interview Boss: I researched your personal brand online. Man: My what? Boss: I looked at your blog, your Tweets, an your Facebook page. I Googled your name and followed every link. I checked your credit, criminal record, school transcripts, and references. But that's just the external stuff. Man: Exactly. It's my attitude that counts! Boss: No. I mean I also have the results of your urine test. Oh, and apparently some of your sample landed in a DNA test kit. And that tanning bed you used last week was actually an MRI. How's your attitude now? Man: Harder to fake.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cats & kittens, #computer software, #contracts, #harvest organs, #signed, #software services, #save lives

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Carol says, "There's a guy in the lobby who says he's here to harvest your organs." Carol says, "Apparently, you signed a software services agreement without fully understanding it." Dilbert says, "Well, at least I can save lives." Carol says, "He said something about his cat's birthday."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #honesty, #moving, #new offcie, #sounds weird, #real one, #save the attitude

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Wally says, "I can't help on your project this week because we're moving to a new office." Dilbert says, "It sounds weird because it's true." Wally says, "I like to throw in a real one every now and then." Wally says, "You might want to save that attitude for the next round."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #media, #take pledge, #give fortune to charity, #billionaires, #200 million, #leave to heir, #semi relayed, #monkey dna, #clones test tube, #Entertainment

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CEO MONKEY: The media is asking if you'll take the pledge to give your fortune to charity. CEO: That pledge is for billionaires! I only have $200 million to leave to my heir! On a semi-relayted notem find out who keep putting monkey DNA in my clones test tube.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #save money, #retire, #name, #swear, #curse, #point

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Wally says, "I finally saved enough money to retire anytime I want." Wally says, "Someone should invent a witty name for that amount of money." The Boss says, "$%@# *@U" Wally says, "Perfect! Can I use that?"