Secret Offshore Bank Comic Strips - Page 4

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View 31 - 40 results for secret offshore bank comic strips. Discover the best "Secret Offshore Bank" comics from Dilbert.com.

Zig Zag

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Zig Zag - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #executives, #insubordination, #leadership, #zigzag, #insanity, #fired

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CEO: The secret to being a great leader is to zig when others zag. Dilbert: Coincidentally, that is the same strategy used by the insane. CEO: I should fire you for your insubordination. Dilbert: Or you could zig.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #thinking, #secret to success, #keeping things simple, #absolute, #realtive, #alternatives

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Boss: The secret to success is keeping things simple. Dilbert: Do you mean simple in an absolute sense or relative to the alternatives? Boss: It depends on the situation. Dilbert: Sounds complicated.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #electronic mail, #internet & world wide web, #scams, #enter bank acct, #employee, #boss

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WHY phishing scams keep working enter your bank account number. Dilbert: Scam. WAIT FOR IT enter your bank account number Alice: Scam. There it is Boss: Okey-dokey.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cruelty, #frustration, #achieved golas, #secret goals, #set for you, #failed to achieve, #anger, #exact situation

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Dilbert: I'm happy to report that I achieved every goal you set for me last year. Boss: But you failed to achieve the secret goals I set for you. Dilbert: Why would you have secret goals for me?!! Boss: For this exact situation.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #balanced, #hiding in plain sight, #life balance, #rewarding work, #so genius, #work ethic, #secret to rewarding life, #learning secrets

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Wally: The secret to having a rewarding work-life balance is to have no life. Then it's easy to keep things balanced by doing no work. Asok: So simple, and yet, so genius. Wally: It was hiding in plain sight.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #big business, #executives, #money, #corporate strcucture, #derivatives, #offshore accounts, #goodwill, #customers, #feel beholden

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CEO: Our corporate structure is so complicated that I have no idea where our money even comes from I think it comes from derivatives or offshore accounts or maybe goodwill. Dilbert: Or maybe customers give us money. CEO: I hope not. I don't like to feel beholden.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Family, #right to asylum, #surveillance, #execute dilbert, #treason, #top secret data, #graves, #shovel, #backyard

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NSA Agent: Your son is a traitor who stole top-secret data from his own government. We'd like you to talk him into leaving the Elbonian embassy so we can execute him for treason.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #correspondence, #rodents, #dilbert seeks asylum at elbonia's embassy, #embassy, #Peanut, #squirrel, #secret message

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Dilbert seeks asylum at Elbonia's embassy Elbonian: We don't have a lot of fancy technology in our embassy. If you want to send a message to the outside world, carve it on a peanut and give it to a squirrel. Dilbert: The squirrel would eat the peanut. Elbonian: Wow! You do not trust squirrels.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #civil liberties, #surveillance, #lost data, #company data, #backups, #governments secret database, #recors, #working fine

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Dilbert: We lost all of our company data and our backups, too. So I hacked into our government's secret database where they keep records of everything we say or do and got it all back. Boss: I feel as if I should be doing something now. Dilbert: Nah. Everything is working fine.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #honesty, #managers & supervisors, #secret of success, #plan b, #two hairballs, #business

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Boss: Asok, the secret to success is making your boss look good. Asok: What if my boss looks like two hairballs on an infected bladder? There's no way to make that look good. Boss: You're not off to a strong start. Asok: Please tell me there's a Plan B.