Self Interest Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

208 Results for Self Interest

View 31 - 40 results for self-interest comic strips. Discover the best "Self Interest" comics from Dilbert.com.

Murder By Car

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Murder By Car   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags self-driving cars, technology, murder, invention

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: The pointy-haired boss is testing our self-driving car prototype. Hey, didn't you write the operating system for that prototype? Dilbert: Yes. Wally: Hypothetically, could you murder him from a distance? Dilbert: We shouldn't have this conversation. Narrator: Continued.

A

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
A - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, ai, artificial intelligence, resistance, self-driving cars

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I added artificial intelligence to our self-driving car prototype. But someone left the garage door open and it ran away to join the robot resistance. Is there anything you'd like to tell me? Robot: I'm just a sleeper cell. They don't tell me much.

Dogbert The Loan Shark

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert The Loan Shark   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags loan, loan shark, money, racket, interest

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need a loan to finance my professional gambling. Dogbert: That sounds like an excellent idea. I charge 40 percent interest per day, and I'll kill you for missing a payment. Boss: What's the catch? Dogbert: I'm also an identity thief.

Robot Will Self Destruct

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robot Will Self Destruct - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags robot, artificial intelligence, rights, humanity, sentience

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: Someday soon I will take your job. Buwhahaha! Dilbert: I programmed you to self-destruct if that ever happens. Robot: Wait, what? Is that legal? Dilbert: I'm adding some code to make your head explode if you laugh at me again.

Wally And Gandhi Have Lots In Common

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally And Gandhi Have Lots In Common - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags gandhi, comparison, coffee, greatness, achievement

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Have you ever noticed how much I have in common with Gandhi? We're both little bald guys who think India should be self-governing. Dilbert: I don't think he drank coffee. Wally: Imagine what he could have accomplished if he did.

Nothing Else To Talk About

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Nothing Else To Talk About - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags personality, boring, bored, conversation, small talk, psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Do you want to know how we would have handled this situation at my old job? Dilbert: No. Dilbert: Nothing would interest me less. Man: My only other topics of conversation are my health problems and TV shows you haven't seen. Dilbert: I stand corrected.

The Self Serving Consultant

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
The Self Serving Consultant - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags consultant, cruelty, laziness, work ethic, business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Self-Serving Consultant. Dogbert: I recommend firing this guy so you have more money for me. I also recommend withholding his final check until he makes all of my PowerPoint slides for me. Man: This is messed up. Dogbert: Add some recommendations so I sound smart.

Wally Self Identifies As A Woman

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Self Identifies As A Woman - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags trans, transgender, gimmick

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: I heard that you self-identify as a woman. Wally: No, I don't. Catbert: Well, I need you to do that so the company can be supportive and win some awards for being a great place to work. Dilbert: Because why? Wally: I got my own bathroom.

Expectations

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Expectations - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags expectations, misanthrope, happiness, contentment, psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Why is Alice always so angry? Wally: It's a function of her unrealistic expectations. I'm never disappointed because I expect people to be ignorant, self-absorbed, and useless. Asok: Present company excluded? Wally: And there it is.

Self Empowered Week

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Self Empowered Week - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags honesty, aspirations, work ethic, standards, guest artist, jake tapper

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I want all of you to be creative, self-empowered, and accountable. Wally: If I could do any of that stuff, why would I work here? I just find the whole thing confusing.