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279 Results for Seven Hours

View 31 - 40 results for seven hours comic strips. Discover the best "Seven Hours" comics from Dilbert.com.

Boss Cancels Food Service

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Boss Cancels Food Service - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lunch, #Food, #stealing, #refrigerator, #property, #misunderstanding

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Boss: I've decided to cancel our food service to save money. Dilbert: We don't have a food service. We all bring our own food and keep in the break room refrigerator. Boss: I've been eating the food in there for seven years. Dilbert: I'd keep that to myself if I were you.

Accidental Deletion

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Accidental Deletion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #surveillance, #coverup, #body cam, #denial, #deception, #proof

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Dilbert: I'm glad I started wearing an employee body cam. Here's a video of you yesterday, saying the opposite of what you told me today. Boss: Oops! I accidentally deleted it. Dilbert: Luckily, I have seven hundred backups.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #group project

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Boss: I'd like to thank each member of the product team for the successful launch. Dilbert wrote the software. Alice designed the hardware. And Wally... um... Wally: Attended most of the meetings. Boss: That's all you did? Wally: I also played devil's advocate. Dilbert: You didn't say a word during our meetings for seven months. Wally: That's because you were doing everything right. Boss: Did you really do nothing for seven months? Wally: This is one of those "less is more" situations.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #avoiding, #avoidance, #offense

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Tina; Are you going to the department meeting? Dilbert: Yes, as soon as I plan my route. I have seven co-workers who I need to avoid on the way. Three are nonstop talkers. The other four ask me for something every time I see them. I've mapped their likely locations and I'm working out an avoidance path. Yes, I think I can do it. Tina: Is that my name on your list of employees to avoid? Dilbert: I didn't say it was a perfect system.

Tina Wants To Borrow Wally's Phone

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Tina Wants To Borrow Wally's Phone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cell phone, #germs, #cleanliness, #bathroom, #technology

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Tina: My phone is broken. Can I use yours to make a call? Wally: Absolutely. If it seems warm, that's because I was using it in the men's room for the past two hours. Tina: I'll ask someone else. Wally: Yup.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tldr, #email, #communication, #patience, #criticism

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Man: Did you read my email? Dilbert: No, it was too long. Man: Maybe you could read it when you have more time. Dilbert: I never have time to read email messages that are too long. Maybe you could rewrite it to be shorter. Man: I don't have time to rewrite it. Dilbert: And I don't have time to read it. Man: If no one reads that email, it will mean I wasted two hours writing it. Dilbert: Plus, you're wasting my time right now. Don't forget to include that in your failure assessment. Man: I had high hopes for that email. Dilbert: It's a sunk cost. Let it go.

Tina Won't Stop Talking

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Tina Won't Stop Talking - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conversation, #company policy, #politeness, #etiquette, #time, #talking

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Dilbert: Our new politeness policy is having unintended consequences. I just spent four hours listening to Tina talk about hear health problems because the company says it is rude to just walk away. Wally: How did you escape? Dilbert: She had a health problem. I got lucky.

How Long For New Feature

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How Long For New Feature - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #excuse, #legacy, #deception, #engineer, #programmer, #engineering

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Tina: How long would it take to add that feature to the legacy system? Wally: That depends. When will the new system replace the legacy system? Tina: In six months. Wally: The new feature would take seven months.

Boss Tweets Fake News

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Boss Tweets Fake News - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conversation, #mobile (cell) phones, #talk, #window

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The department of education asked us to talk to you about all of your tweeting. You tweeted so much fake news that the average I.Q. in the country plunged seven points. That doesn't hurt anyone. You tweeted "seat belts are designed to strangle survivors so they won't sue."

Ruining Dilbert's Flow

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Ruining Dilbert's Flow - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stress, #deadline, #work load, #multitask, #compensation, #money

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Boss: I'm giving you another software project to work on at the same time as your main project. Dilbert: That will ruin my flow. It will take too long to reset my brain when I switch between projects. Boss: Have you tried working longer hours without extra pay? Dilbert: Yes I have!