Socially Defective Brain Comic Strips - Page 4

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246 Results for Socially Defective Brain

View 31 - 40 results for socially defective brain comic strips. Discover the best "Socially Defective Brain" comics from Dilbert.com.

Randy Sees Normals As Livestock

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Randy Sees Normals As Livestock - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #microchip, #technology, #nanotechnology, #ego, #cattle

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Randy: I am one of the first humans to have a microchip embedded in my brain. I'm so smart that you "normals" are like livestock to me now. Dilbert: We can't be that different. Randy: My chip translates everything you say to "moo."

Randy Has A Microchip In His Brain

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Randy Has A Microchip In His Brain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #intelligence, #technology, #nanotechnology, #biotechnology, #computer chip

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Boss: Randy is our first employee to have a computer chip embedded in his brain. Randy, please explain to these obsolete employees how awesome you are now. Randy: Wait... I'm updating my software. Alice: Should we kill him while he's vulnerable?

Ruining Dilbert's Flow

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Ruining Dilbert's Flow - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stress, #deadline, #work load, #multitask, #compensation, #money

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Boss: I'm giving you another software project to work on at the same time as your main project. Dilbert: That will ruin my flow. It will take too long to reset my brain when I switch between projects. Boss: Have you tried working longer hours without extra pay? Dilbert: Yes I have!

Brain Fragments

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Brain Fragments - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bored, #boredom, #health, #mundane

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Dilbert: I need to take an extended medical leave to recover from a boredom-related injury at work. You gave ma a task so boring that my brain tried to escape through my lower gastrointestinal tract. Boss: I'm sure it wasn't that bad. Dilbert: I found brain fragments in my pants.

Brain Trapping

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Brain Trapping - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boredom, #bored, #mundane

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Wally: Don't get too close. He's brain-trapping. Asok: What? Wally: He's doing a task so boring that he has to cover his ear holes so his brain won't try to escape. There's no way for it to get out now. Asok: Did he just get taller?

Brain Escapes Ear Holes

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Brain Escapes Ear Holes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bored, #boredom, #brain, #menial

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Boss: I need you to research this. Dilbert: Uh-oh. This task is so boring that I"m worried my brain will try to escape out of my ear holes. Boss: That's not a real thing, is it? Dilbert: Ow! It's starting!

P Ity The Windowless

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P Ity The Windowless - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cubicle, #office, #office workers, #location, #window, #ego, #superiority

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Tina: Do you think you're better than me just because you have a cubicle with a window? Wally: Yes. Continuous exposure to new stimuli makes my brain create useful pathways and connections. Tina: I did not see that coming. Wally: I pity the windowless.

Ted Has Fly Brain

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Ted Has Fly Brain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #greeting card, #sick, #brain damage, #marketing, #advertising, #mindless, #business, #medical

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Carol: Sign this card for Ted. A fly went up his nose and laid eggs in his brain. Dilbert: Is he coming back to work? Carol: We think he'll live out his days in Marketing.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #goals, #accomplishment, #consciousness, #death, #achievement, #medical

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Dilbert: Do you have any long-term goals? Wally: Just death. Dilbert: Death isn't a goal. Wally: It's the best kind. This way, I can go out as a winner. With my last breath, I plan to do a fist pump and yell, "I did it!" What's your long-term plan? Dilbert: I plan to use brain imaging technology to map my mind. Then I'll create a digital copy of myself to live forever in a software simulation. Unless I already did. Wally: Give yourself a fist pump, just in case.

Hat Monitors Sleep

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Hat Monitors Sleep - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mind control, #technology, #invention, #hat, #control

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Boss: This hat monitors your brain waves and warns you if you are going to fall asleep. We think it will prevent accidents. Dilbert: Is that all it does? Boss: For now. Robot: Welcome to the club.