Something New Comic Strips - Page 4
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Character
1000 Results for Something New
View 31 - 40 results for something new comic strips. Discover the best "Something New" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday February 10,
2020
Tags #business, #conversation, #excellent, #hardware, #network, #price, #record, #reliability, #warranty
Transcript
dilbert: the new hardware you bought isn't compatible with our network. boss: i know, but the price was excellent, and they have a great reliability record. dilbert: i don't even know what conversation i'm in right now. boss: the extended warranty is second to none.
Saturday January 11,
2020
Old Strategy
Saturday January 04,
2020
Wally Stopped Trying
Tags #managers & supervisors, #useless, #trying, #incompetence, #co-workers, #pay, #work
Transcript
wally: this week i didn't do any work because there is no point in trying. in the unlikely event i did something useful, it would be ruined by the massive incompetence of my co-workers. boss: i pay you to act as if you are trying. wally: oh, in that case, i worked hard this week.
Sunday December 29,
2019
Searching On A Phone
Tags #office workers, #communication, #phone, #protocol, #task, #rude, #technology, #insult, #fake
Transcript
tina: i have something funny to show you. just give me a minute to find it on my phone. dilbert thinking: what's the protocol in this situation? should i just sit here and stare at her pawing at her phone? i can't talk because she's focused on her task. and it would be rude to walk away. would it be an insult to look at my own phone and mentally check out from this useless interaction? tina: ah! i found it! dilbert: okay, good. tina: wait, that's not the right one. dilbert: is this why people fake their own deaths?
Monday December 23,
2019
Ship Without Manual
Tags #business, #technology, #ship, #user, #interface, #model, #enemy
Transcript
dilbert: the product is ready to ship as soon as the new user guide is complete. boss: ship it with the old model's user guide. dilbert: the user interface is totally different. boss: don't let perfect be the enemy of shipping.
Thursday December 12,
2019
Dogbert's Tech Support
Tags #business, #technology, #office worker, #product, #climate, #change, #Environment, #recycle
Transcript
Dogbert's tech support female office worker: i can't figure out how to use your product. dogbert: the problem is climate change. there is nothing you can do. office worker: there must be something i can do. dogbert's voice from phone: do you recycle?
Wednesday December 11,
2019
Saying You Are Dumb
Tags #business, #job, #change, #technology, #dumb, #imply, #product
Transcript
dogbert's tech support ted: i can't figure out how to use your product. what should i do? dogbert: i recommend changing jobs to something less challenging. ted: are you saying i'm dumb? dogbert's once from phone: no. no. no. i'm only implying it.
Tuesday December 03,
2019
Reporting On Tina
Tags #technology, #technical, #new, #bored, #coma, #writer
Transcript
dilbert: tina is in some sort of technical writer's trance. dilbert: apparently, i took too long to explain some new technology, and it bored her into a coma. should i report this? wally: only if you can do it succinctly
Wednesday November 27,
2019
Flag Me When You Are Done
Tags #office work, #flag, #burden, #rude, #business
Transcript
dogbert: i find it a burden to listen to you. maybe you could wave this flag to signal when you are done talking just in case i want to say something. dilbert: you are very rude. dogbert: flag me when you are done with whatever this is.
Tuesday November 26,
2019
Conference Call
Tags #office workers, #business, #conference call, #meeting, #useful, #don't care
Transcript
wally: how did your conference call go? dilbert: normal. it took us twenty minutes to get everyone connected, followed by forty minutes of garbled speech that no one understood. the meeting ended when everyone got tired of pretending something useful was happening. wally: i didn't really care.