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46 Results for Stuck

View 31 - 40 results for stuck comic strips. Discover the best "Stuck" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 27, 1994's comic on:


Tags #teller, #automated, #machine, #menus, #chinese language option

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Dilbert: Im getting performance anxiety at the automated teller machine. I feel the impatient glare of the stranger behind me. I try to prove competent by speeding through the menus. Good Lord, I hit the mandarin chinese language option. Oh no! I think I transferred my life savings to the "United way" Great...now his truck eyeballs are stuck to the back of my neck. This is exactly why I hate going to the automated teller. Dogbert: I think a little "visine" would make him slide right off. Dilbert: There was a time I could afford that...

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 03, 1993's comic on:


Tags #computer, #ratbert, #Dilbert, #rat

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Dilbert sits at his desk. Ratbert says, "Yeah, I'd say that I've become a loved and respected member of the family." Ratbert continues, "Sure, you had some initial prejudice because I'm a rat, but love won out." Ratbert concludes, "So, I was thinking maybe there's a better way to leave little bits of cheese around the house for me." Ratbert's tail is stuck in a mouse trap.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 26, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #elbonia, #elbonian men, #philosophy

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Dilbert says to two Elbonians, "You start by identifying problem areas." One Elbonian sniffs while another says, "Hmm . . . Sometimes our mittens get stuck to our noses and we can't breathe." As an Elbonian struggles with his mitten, another says, "Yorgi! Try to breathe with your mouth!" Dilbert says, "People! Let's talk metrics, please!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 08, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #co worker, #man, #attractive woman, #socializing, #dating

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Dilbert sees a co-worker whose hair stands straight up. Dilbert asks, "What's wrong with you?" The man replies, "I have A.W.S." Dilbert asks, "You have 'Attractive Woman Syndrome' HERE??" The man replies, "She was just hired." The man shouts, "Run!" The Boss approaches and says, "Dilbert, I'd like you to meet Liz." Dilbert thinks, "Uh-oh . . . My metabolism is increasing. My brain is suppressing what little social skills I have." The woman says, "Hi." Dilbert extends his hand and says, "It's a pleasure to meet me. I hope you never find a live turtle in your soup." Sweat flies off Dilbert's forehead. Dilbert covers his face with a piece of paper and thinks, "Aaagh! What was that supposed to mean??" Liz looks scared. The paper sticks to Dilbert's face and he thinks, "Oh great . . . The correction fluid wasn't dry. It's stuck to my eyebrows." Dilbert arrives at home with the document still stuck to his face. He asks Dogbert, "What can I do to stop frightening attractive women?" Dogbert replies, "That mask is a step in the right direction."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 06, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #performance, #review, #process, #accomplishments, #cash, #value, #empowerment, #match, #motivational

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The Boss tells Dilbert, "It's time for your annual performance review." The Boss continues, "The process is the same as usual." The Boss continues, "Make your accomplishments fit the trendy categories on this form." Dilbert reads, "'1. Estimate the cash value of the empowerment you displayed this year. Cite examples.'" The Boss says, "Try to make your accomplishments match the raise I've already decided for you." Dilbert asks, "Why don't you just tell me what you've decided?" The Boss responds, "What - and ruin the motivational value of the process??" The Boss thinks as he walks away, "How did I get stuck with all the cynical employees?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 30, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #man, #employee, #information, #binder, #saliva, #page-turning, #hand, #pages, #stuck

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Dilbert sits at a table with a bearded man. The man says, "Let me show you where the information is in your binder." The man licks his fingers and says, "First, I'll need a good load of saliva on my page-turning hand." Dilbert says, "Maybe you can show me in YOUR binder." The man replies, "Can't . . . Somehow my pages got all stuck together."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 06, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #abducted, #aliens, #hypnotized, #dark, #room, #row, #seats, #popcorn, #substance, #feet, #disgusted, #dollars, #enter, #ship, #suppressed, #memory

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Dilbert sits at a table with Dogbert and says, "I didn't remember being abducted by aliens until you hypnotized me. But now I remember they looked like 'E.T.'" Dilbert looks at a drawing and continues, "I remember being in a dark room with rows of seats. They fed us a popcorn-like substance. My feet were stuck to the floor." Dilbert continues, "I recall being disgusted that they charged me six dollars to enter the ship." Dogbert says, "That's why you suppressed the memory."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 22, 1992's comic on:


Tags #dilgbert, #Dogbert, #reckless, #play, #frisbee, #populated, #area

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Dilbert and Dogbert play with a remote control airplane outdoors. The plane begins to move and Dilbert says, "Approaching take-off velocity . . ." Dilbert hears a "Whap! Thud!" in the distance. A man holding a frisbee lies on the ground with the model plane stuck to his head. Dilbert says, "Gee, you'd think he'd know it's reckless to play frisbee in a populated area."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 23, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #rabert, #ruler, #earth, #ignorant, #masses, #zombie, #mode, #stuck

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Dogbert stands on the edge of a cliff and yells, "I am Dogbert, the supreme ruler of earth!!" Dogbert yells, "Worship me, you ignorant masses!!" Dogbert says to Ratbert, "That was practice." Ratbert replies, "Darn, now my eyes are stuck in zombie mode . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 27, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #Food, #fight, #throwing, #potatoes, #ear, #corn, #chowder, #kitchen, #ding-dong, #witch, #dead

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Dilbert arrives at home with food stuck to his suit. Dogbert asks, "How was your lunch with the executive vice president?" Dilbert sits in his chair and says, "Everything was fine until the food fight. He started throwing au gratin potatoes . . . I countered with an ear of corn to his head and ran for the exit." Dilbert covers his eyes and says, "When I left, he was face-down in the clam chowder and the kitchen staff was singing 'ding-dong the witch is dead.'"