Success Comic Strips - Page 4
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170 Results for Success
View 31 - 40 results for success comic strips. Discover the best "Success" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday March 12,
2018
Meeting Rooms Are Booked
Tags meetings, managers, scheduling, conflict
Transcript
Dilbert: My project stalled because all of our meeting rooms have been reserved by managers just in case they need them. My current plan for success is to wait until one of you dies sow e can use your meeting room. Boss: Let's not do project status reports anymore.
Sunday March 04,
2018
Tags add code, corporate scamming, darkest day, designed new prodcut, draft apology, engineering success, make unrelaible, no upgarde, press release, ten years
Transcript
Dilbert: Ive designed our new product to work flawlessly for up to ten years. CEO: No one will need an upgrade. Thats no good. Add some code to low it down and make it unreliable after two years. CEO: But make sure the device doesn't slow down until we have an upgrade to sell. Then draft an apology I can put un a press realize when we get caught. Dilbert: You have turned my engineering success into the darkest day of my career. CEO: Thats not even close to being true. Your darkest day will be when the press figures out what we did and I fore you for it.
Tuesday January 23,
2018
User Specifications Are Not Complete
Tags user specifications, apps, build app, no hope, fantasize
Transcript
Dilbert: are these user specifications complete? Ted: No, I plan to add requirements as you build the app until you have no hope of success and you fantasize about strangling me. Dilbert: Do you know what isn't as refreshing as you'd hope? Dogbert: Honesty?
Monday January 15,
2018
Success Diminishes Other Guy
Tags ideas, diminshed, support, stab me, great deas, discussion, argument
Transcript
Ted: Your idea is great, but I plan to oppose it because I feel diminished by the success of others. Dilbert: Maybe you could support it now and then stab me in the back later. Ted: That's two great ideas you've had today. Dilbert: thank you.
Thursday December 14,
2017
Boss Loses Wife And Money
Tags role model, aspiration, gambler, gambling, money, Win, Lose, success, quitter
Transcript
Boss: It's not easy being a professional gambler. I lost a million dollars and my wife in one week. But I don't want to be a quitter because I know you see me as a role model. Carol: My role model is your wife. Boss: You like quitters?
Friday September 08,
2017
Robots In Management
Tags managers, loopholes, robot, automation, murder, killing, productivity
Transcript
Boss: Our experiment with robots in management has been a success. Productivity is way up since they started killing the low-performing humans. CEO: But... that's murder. Boss: Only when humans do it. We found a loophole.
Saturday June 24,
2017
No Path To Success
Tags collusion, russia, donald trump, blame, accusation, public opinion
Transcript
Alice: I hear you're a corporate spy for our Elbonian competitors. Dilbert: No, that was an unfounded rumor. Alice: That's exactly what guilty people say. Dilbert: I'm not seeing my path to success here.
Thursday March 23,
2017
Wally's Invention Is The Best Seller Ever
Tags success, Promotion, management, work, laziness
Transcript
Boss: The product you accidentally invented is our biggest seller in company history. So I'm promoting you to a leadership position. Wally: Phew! I thought you were going to make me work.
Wednesday March 22,
2017
Wally's Invention Goes Into Production
Tags invention, success, laziness, fairness, unfair
Transcript
Alice: The board decided to put your invention of a phone charger that warms coffee into production. Market surveys show enormous demand. You're probably going to be our Employee Of The Year. This disturbs me on many levels. Wally: Genius is often disruptive.

