Technical Accuracy Comic Strips - Page 4

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139 Results for Technical Accuracy

View 31 - 40 results for technical accuracy comic strips. Discover the best "Technical Accuracy" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #executives, #ignorance (knowledge), #technical details, #idea, #deciosns, #people involved, #pale and poorly dressed, #business

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Boss: Stop right there. Don't tell me the technical details of your idea. I make my decisions based on what I know about the people involved. Dilbert: You know less about me than you know about my idea. Boss: Is your idea pale and poorly dressed?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #correspondence, #electronic mail, #genius, #unfinished product, #writing, #hallmark of genius, #unexpected use of time

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Boss: You didn't answer my email. Dilbert: I tried to read it but the signal-to-noise ratio was too low. Boss: So it's sort of a technical problem? Dilbert: Okay.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deception, #electronic mail, #answer email, #signal to noise, #technical problem

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Boss: You didn't answer my email. Dilbert: I tried to read it but the signal-to-noise ratio was too low. Boss: So it's sort of a technical problem? Dilbert: Okay.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #keep brain out, #laziness, #long and complicated, #technical recommendation, #thinking, #make decision

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Dilbert: Did you read my technical recommendation? Boss: No. It's too long and complicated. Dilbert: How do you plan to make a decision without reading it? Boss: I'll use my gut. Dilbert: It's probably a good idea to keep your brain out of this. Boss: Quiet! It's saying something. Noise: GROWL.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cruelty, #embarrassment, #not judeg, #quality of question, #technical

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Man: ... and so, that's my question. Dilbert: I try to not judge people by the quality of the technical questions they ask. Man: Is it working? Dilbert: Not even a little.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #interviews, #ignorant and bored, #hired, #awesome tech skills, #management genius

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Man: You're ignorant and ridiculous. I'm bored. Are we done here? Boss: You're hired. You must have awesome technical skills or else someone would have killed you by now. Boss: I can't tell if I'm a management genius or just lazy.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #honesty, #writing, #write, #birds walk keyboard, #Opinion, #technical part, #blabbing the ethernet

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Alice says, "Is this how you really write, or did birds walk on your keyboard?" Alice says, "I only need your opinion on the technical part of it." Alice says, "Okay, let's assume that your readers will know what you mean by 'blobbing on the ethernet.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #proposals, #technical, #swivel chair, #front, #intelligence test, #smart, #joke, #monkey, #time, #animals, #business

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The Boss says, "I don't understand either of your technical proposals, and I need to pick one." The Boss says, "Normally I'd use favoritism, but I don't like either one of you." The Boss says, "So I'll give you an intelligence test, and I'll approve the proposal of whoever is the smartest." The Boss says, "If you shoot an arrow at a monkey from an airplane..." The Boss says, "And the monkey throws a coconut at the incoming arrow to stop it, but he misses..." The Boss says, "How can you tell what time it is?" Dilbert says, "There's not enough data." Coworker says, "You look at your watch?" The Boss says, "The correct answer is 'Ask the monkey and hope he doesn't hold a grudge."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #technical jargon, #lame, #condescending, #integration layer, #insult, #head, #business

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Wally says, "This week I mapped our applications to our domains and defined the interface between our applications and our software environment." Wally says, "Whatever you did this week probably seems lame compared to all of that." Wally says, "The stuff I'm doing is way up here in what's called in the integration layer." The Boss says, "What's he's been reading?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tech support, #sit down, #talk, #stool, #computer, #headset, #technical problems, #trick, #hurt, #pessimism, #angry, #technology

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Dilbert says, "It's not right to use your tech support job to trick people into hurting themselves." Dogbert says, "I help people take their minds off of hopeless technical problems." Dilbert says, "How do you know a problem is hopeless?" Dogbert says, "Great. So now pessimism is a crime?"