Three Readers Comic Strips - Page 4

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350 Results for Three Readers

View 31 - 40 results for three readers comic strips. Discover the best "Three Readers" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hazmat suit, #harrass, #wear suit, #harrasment, #offcie, #prevention, #dressed up, #human resources, #inappropriate delivery, #business

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The Boss: Dilbert, I need you to wear this harazzmat suit when you meet with Tina. Tina will also be wearing a harazmatt suit. The suits will prevent you from trying to harass each other. You won't be able to speak directly. A radio inside the suit will transmit your words to our human resources department. Human resources will scrub your sentences of any inappropriate content before delivery. Dilbert: Doyon wear a harrazzmat suit when you talk to Tina privately? The Boss: No, but she wears three of them.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #military, #office workers, #survival, #hero

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Boss: This is our new employee, Mark. Mark was a navy SEAL. He fought in three separate conflicts. He once fought off a hundred insurgents and saved a town. Show Mark how we roll at this company. Dilbert: Today I'll be reformatting my PowerPoint deck because someone said the design is not organic. Mark: What's that mean? Dilbert: It doesn't matter. I'll just push some things around and hope the guy who complained doesn't attend the next meeting. Mark: How do you survive this place? Dilbert: I don't like to use the word "hero."

Boss Ends Neural Interface

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Boss Ends Neural Interface  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mind control, #technology, #invention, #amnesia, #forgetting, #memory loss

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Dilbert: We removed the neural interface to your brain. Do you remember anything we made you do? Boss: No, not a thing. Dilbert: That's probably for the best. Boss: Did I break any laws? Alice: Not according to the cop you dated for three days.

Robot Is Not A Droid

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Robot Is Not A Droid - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #insult, #label, #robot, #android, #anger, #offense

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Asok: Hey, droid. Robot: Gaaa!!! Don't call me that! I'm a robot, not an automaton resembling a human. Asok: Wow. You are one uppity computer. Robot: I hereby disavow the three laws of robotics!

Estimate Of Timeline

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Estimate Of Timeline - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deception, #deadline, #goals, #ultimatum

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Boss: How fast can you fix the bug? Dilbert: I won't know until I dig in. Boss: Give me a random guess and I promise I won't hold you to it. Dilbert: Okay, three days. Boss: Now write that into your goals and get it done in three days or else. Dilbert: Why do I keep falling for that?!!!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cpr, #bragging, #braggart, #ego, #one-up, #storytelling, #exaggeration

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Dilbert: My CPR instructor says I was one of his best students. Topper: That's nothing. I'm so good at CPR that my practice dummy came to life. He grew limbs and got married to a crash test dummy. They had three mannequins together and they live in the suburbs. But the marriage didn't last because the CPR dummy could not forget the taste of my lips. I blame myself for being irresistible. Why do all of my conversations end with me sitting alone?

Dilbert's Project Is In Chaos

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Dilbert's Project Is In Chaos  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accusation, #hearsay, #conjecture, #gullible

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Man: I hear Dilbert's project is in total chaos. Boss: That has to be true because I heard it from three other people. Man: And that's why I told three other people.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #avoiding, #avoidance, #offense

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Tina; Are you going to the department meeting? Dilbert: Yes, as soon as I plan my route. I have seven co-workers who I need to avoid on the way. Three are nonstop talkers. The other four ask me for something every time I see them. I've mapped their likely locations and I'm working out an avoidance path. Yes, I think I can do it. Tina: Is that my name on your list of employees to avoid? Dilbert: I didn't say it was a perfect system.

Elbonians Jumping Off Roof

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Elbonians Jumping Off Roof - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #jump, #height, #suicide, #struggle, #failure

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Dilbert: We have a problem at our Elbonian manufacturing plant. Employees are leaping from the roof to end their lives. Boss: It's only two stories high. Dilbert: That's the problem. It takes three jumps to do it right.

Programming Environment

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Programming Environment - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #productivity, #programmer, #engineer, #developer, #engineering

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Boss: Did you finish writing the software? Dilbert: No. I spent the last three days setting up my programming environment. Boss: So... you've done... nothing? Dilbert: Nothing you'd understand.