Time In Meetings Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Time In Meetings

View 31 - 40 results for time in meetings comic strips. Discover the best "Time In Meetings" comics from Dilbert.com.

Ten Year Financial Projections

Thank you for voting.
Ten Year Financial Projections - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 01, 2019's comic on:


Tags #budget, #business, #finances, #guilt, #office, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: How reliable are your ten-year financial projections? Dilbert: They are as reliable as all other ten-year financial predictions. Tina: Okay, good. Dilbert: Why do I feel guilty every time I talk at work?

Best Product

Thank you for voting.
Best Product - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 30, 2019's comic on:


Tags #criticism, #jokes, #meetings, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm, #presentation

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: As you can see from this chart, our product has been rated number one for six years in a row. Dilbert: Why does your chart stop four years ago? Ted: I'll bet you don't get invited to a lot of parties. Dilbert: That's just a lucky guess.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 13, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boredom, #panic, #technology, #smartphone, #thoughts

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'm turning off my digital devices so I can spend some time with my thoughts. Dogbert: That sounds like a terrible idea. Do you remember what your quiet thoughts were like? Dilbert: Not really. But how bad could it be? This isn't so bad. Just a bit boring. Five minutes later. Dilbert: I'm getting the shakes. The boredom has metastasized. Gaaaa!!! The boredom is overwhelming! Kill me! Kill me! Dogbert: Maybe you should have tried being with people. Dilbert: It was already bad enough.

Boxes With Names

Thank you for voting.
Boxes With Names - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 02, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #employees, #managers & supervisors, #meetings, #office workers, #suspicious, #layoff

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The rumors of a major layoff are completely untrue. Dilbert: Why did the facilities management people just deliver a huge load of cardboard boxes to the break room? Boss: You can never have too many boxes. Dilbert: Why does every box have an employee name on it?

Illegal Plan

Thank you for voting.
Illegal Plan - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 25, 2018's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #legal, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #suspicious

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Your plan doesn't sound legal.I'm not comfortable with it. Boss: We break the law all the time. It hasn't been a problem yet. Do you feel better now? Dilbert: What's your position on killing all witnesses?

Jargon

Thank you for voting.
Jargon - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 06, 2018's comic on:


Tags #confusion, #employees, #irritation, #language, #meetings, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: This was a great meeting. Are there any questions? Dilbert: I didn't understand any of the jargon you used for the past hour, so I have no idea what this meeting was about. Man: Why didn't you say something sooner? Dilbert: That's a good strategy for people who have hope.

Company Cheer

Thank you for voting.
Company Cheer  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 03, 2018's comic on:


Tags #boss, #business, #employees, #jobs, #managers & supervisors, #meetings, #corporations

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our new corporate owners want us to gather every morning to do the company cheer. Alice: I quit. Dilbert: I quit. Voice: I quit. Voice 2: I quit. Boss: That's not the company cheer. Dilbert: It is now.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 02, 2018's comic on:


Tags #business, #decision, #executives, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #success, #manipulation

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Profits have increased thirty percent under my leadership. Dilbert: Snort. CEO: What? Dilbert: All you do is pick the best plans from the options we show you. CEO: Exactly, and I pick the best plan every time. Dilbert: That's because we only show you the best plans compared to the worst plans we can think of. We control every decision you make by manipulating your perception of the options. CEO: We need to fix that. Dilbert: How do you fix something that isn't broken?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 28, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #customer, #meeting, #engineers, #years, #disasters, #worry, #data, #centers, #blockchain

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Can I go with you to the customer meeting? I'm worried you might promise something we can't deliver. The Boss: Don't be ridiculous! I've been having customer meetings without engineers for years. Dilbert: I know and they all turn into disasters. The Boss: You worry too much! Everything will be fine! Man: Can you replace our data centers with blockchain? The Boss: Give us two days.

Bias For Action

Thank you for voting.
Bias For Action - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 04, 2018's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #waste, #time, #thought, #chairs, #meeting

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: We need to have a bias for action! Alice: Good idea. This meeting is a total waste of time. The Boss: I probably should have thought that through.