Too Many Smart People Comic Strips - Page 4
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1000 Results for Too Many Smart People
View 31 - 40 results for too many smart people comic strips. Discover the best "Too Many Smart People" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday January 25,
2021
Customers Are Dead People
Tags business, business ethics, customer, lists, dead, alive, lie, activist, sarcasm
Transcript
dilbert: activists are accusing us of padding our customer list with the names of dead people. boss: that's a lie. those customers were alive when they bought our products. dilbert: did they die while using them? boss: let's hope the activists don't ask that question.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Sunday January 17,
2021
Vaccine
Tags business, business ethics, covid-19, sarcasm, vaccine, pharma, company, target, safety, efficacy
Transcript
boss: i'm happy to announce that our company has produced a vaccine for covid-19. dilbert: how did we do that? we're not even a pharma company. boss: i'm not going to lie. we had to cut some corners to get it done. dilbert: such as... boss: well, for example... we couldn't meet every single target we hoped to achieve. dilbert: how many targets did we miss? boss: only two things. dilbert: safety and efficacy? boss: okay, four things.
Wednesday January 06,
2021
They Said You'd Say That
Tags business, office workers, government, bald, people, camps, internment camp, believe, false
Transcript
tina: i saw on the news that the government plans to round up all bald people and out them in camps. wally: you should be embarrassed for believing a story so obviously false. tina: they said you'd say that.
Friday January 01,
2021
Cock Fights
Tags business, business ethics, audit, disturbing, results, sales, department, cockfight, invitation, rooster
Transcript
dogbert: my audit of your company has uncovered many disturbing things. for example, did you know that the sales department holds cockfights on the third floor every tuesday? boss: why have i never been invited? dogbert: you're not a rooster.
Thursday December 24,
2020
Wally Does Three Jobs
Tags business, money, fortune, employer, employment, working from home, job, manage, expectations, people
Transcript
wally and dilbert on video conference call. wally: i'm making a fortune working from home. three different employers think i work only for them. dilbert: how do you do three jobs at the same time: wally: it comes down to managing other people's expectations.
Monday December 21,
2020
Tweets Do Not Represent Employer
Tags business, employment, managers & supervisors, technology, tweet, tweets, object, smart, useful
Transcript
boss: i object to your twitter profile. it says... "my tweets are smart and useful, so obviously they do not represent my employer." Wally chocking on coffee: smorph! dilbert pointing: now see what you did to wally.
Friday December 18,
2020
Bad Attitude
Tags business, technology, work, exceptional, complain, attitude, bad, dislike, sarcasm
Transcript
boss: your work has been exceptional, but people are complaining about your attitude. dilbert: aren't the people who are doing the complaining usually the ones with bad attitudes. boss: they think you dislike them. dilbert: i do, but i have a terrific attitude about it.
Friday December 11,
2020
Trust Coworkers
Tags business, managers & supervisors, trust, pretend, different
Transcript
in office building boss: okay, team. we can get this done if we trust each other. alice: that's not a thing. dilbert: i don't trust any of you. boss: maybe we can pretend. dilbert: i'd need to pretend we're different people.
Tuesday December 08,
2020
5 G Is 4 G
Tags business, managers & supervisors, technology, wireless, service, 5g, 4g, complain, impossible, phone
Transcript
boss: we are rolling out our new 5G wireless service today. dilbert: we don't have any 5G technology. boss: it's really 4G, but no one wants that, so we call it 5G. dilbert: people will complain. boss: that's okay. we're also making it impossible to reach us by phone.
Tuesday December 01,
2020
Ai For Management Decisoins
Tags business, managers & supervisors, technology, smart speaker, artificial intelligence, management, bug
Transcript
Dilbert: i upgraded our a.i. prototype to make management decisions. smart speaker: slay the weak dilbert: i think that's a bug. boss: hold on. let's hear it out.