Tracking Database Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

53 Results for Tracking Database

View 31 - 40 results for tracking database comic strips. Discover the best "Tracking Database" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 12, 2002's comic on:


Tags #study culture, #in company, #detailed recommendations, #docile outcast, #drinks brown water, #staple tracking device

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert is standing on The Boss' desk wearing a hat, a backpack, and holding a stick. Dogbert says, "I will study the culture in your company and make detailed recommendations." Dogbert observes Wally and records, "The one I call Wally is a docile outcast who eats bananas and drinks brown water." Dogbert asks Wally, "Do you mind if I staple this tracking device to your ear?" Wally responds, "Not really."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 07, 2002's comic on:


Tags #bugs, #database, #not to learn, #put bugs back in, #strong desire, #apathetic

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok hands a piece of paper to The Boss. Asok says, "I worked all weekend to get the bugs out of the database." The Boss replies, "But now the data makes us look bad. Put back the bugs." Asok says to Wally, "Can you teach me to be apathetic like you?" Wally responds, "Only if you have a strong desire not to learn."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 11, 2000's comic on:


Tags #enough engineers, #all requests, #sales support, #online data base, #contempt, #disbelief, #mixture

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to The Boss, "We don't have enough engineers to handle all the requests for sales support." The Boss says to Dilbert, "Build an online database to log all the requests." Dilbert says to The Boss, "It might look as if I'm staring at you with a mixture of contempt and disbelief, but I'm actually meditating."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 14, 2000's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #evil director, #most evil way, #database, #customer information, #sell mailing list, #spam, #balckmail, #data bse, #clumping

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Catbert, "What's the most evil way to use our database of customer information? The Boss says, "Should we sell our mailing lists, spam without mercy, or just blackmail customers?" Catbert says, "Um... Do you have me in that database?" The Boss says, "We know all about your clumping problems."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 13, 2000's comic on:


Tags #gigantic database, #customer behavior, #information, #non linear math, #data mining technology, #optimize retail channels, #spam, #meeting here

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "We have a gigantic database full of customer behavior information." Dilbert says, "Excellent. We can use non-linear math and data mining technology to optimize our retail channels!" The Boss says to Dilbert, "If that's the same thing as spam, we're having a good meeting here."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 03, 2000's comic on:


Tags #internal clients, #tracking, #fake bills, #helpful

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Wally, "We're going to start tracking our time spent with internal clients." The Boss continues, "I will cleverly send fake bills to other departments to show how helpful we are." Wally replies, "I can't help you. I'm busy with my time sheet."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 21, 1999's comic on:


Tags #attached tracking device, #compromise, #spy satellite, #radio network, #next weekend, #date tried to run, #nod once

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert takes his coat off at home. Dilbert says, to dogbert, "My date tried to run away, but I attached a tracking device to her coat." Dilbert holds a microphone and site by his computer. Dilbert says, "Now I'll just compromise a spy satellite and a radio network." Dilbert's date lies in bed at her house. Her radio says, "....So id next weekend is good, nod once."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 20, 1999's comic on:


Tags #almost back, #date, #attach tracking device, #run down alley, #leaves, #different opinions

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert walks along the sidewalk with a date. She says, "Well, we're almost back to my place." She says, "Thanks for the date. I can make it from here." Dilbert reaches out and thinks, "I'd better attach the tracking device." She thinks, "I'll run down that alley and hide until he leaves."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 29, 1999's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #evil director, #employee skills, #database, #moving everyone, #jobs, #laughed fuzzy

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption "Catbert: Evil H.R. Director" Catbert sits at a conference table with Wally and Asok. Catbert says, "I'm starting an employee skills database." Asok raises his hand and says, "Question: Is this the first step in moving everyone to jobs they don't want?" Catbert says, "No, no, no..... The first step was when I laughed myslef fuzzy thinking about it."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 30, 1999's comic on:


Tags #bill gates, #Dogbert, #incoming missles, #anti microsoft weapons, #press conference, #huge catapult

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits on the couch next to Dilmom. Dilbert says, on the phone, "Dogbert, Mom told Bill Gates she uses the "Linux" operating system!" Dogbert stand at a large control panel which included a radar screen. Dogbert says, "I'm tracking four incoming missles. I'll launch our anti-miscrosoft weapons to intercept." Three reporters fly through the air towards a missle that has "MS" on its side. One of thre reporters says, "I wondered why a press conference was being held in a huge catapult."