Twenty Hours Of Work Comic Strips - Page 4

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View 31 - 40 results for twenty hours of work comic strips. Discover the best "Twenty Hours Of Work" comics from Dilbert.com.

Every Expert Says

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Every Expert Says - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #idea, #technology, #work, #old, #new, #future, #expert, #entrepreneurs, #worldview

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boss: every expert in the world says your idea can't work. dilbert: experts only know about old ideas. if they knew about future ones, they would be entrepreneurs, not experts. boss: well, my entire worldview just collapsed. dilbert: sorry

Understanding Science

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Understanding Science - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #science, #scientsts, #chipmunk, #sarcasm

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tina: i listen to actual scientists, and they say your idea will never work. dilbert: if a chipmunk listens to scientists, should i trust the chipmunk to understand what he heard? tina: i don't get your point. dilbert: and yet you do understand science?

Recurring Charges

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Recurring Charges - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #cancel, #online, #charges, #information, #automated phone system, #contact, #website, #microphone

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dilbert at home: i'm going to try to cancel some recurring online charges today. wish me luck. dogbert: what resistance are you expecting? dilbert: obviously, they hide their contact information, so i allocated two hours to find the right phone number. it should take about an hour to navigate their automated phone system that will keep sending me to the wrong place. if i reach a human, he'll try to divert me to their website to cancel, which i already know won't work because... ...i won't be able to find my account in their system for reasons no one will ever be able to explain. and of course, their phone support person will be using a headset microphone that garbles his already mumbled words. dogbert: but if you stick with it, you will eventually succeed? dilbert: i don't know were you got that idea.

Audit Blackmail

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Audit Blackmail - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #business, #audit, #software, #blackmail, #free, #network, #money, #dollars

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dogbert: my audit of your company has uncovered a number of software vulnerabilities. for example, a blackmailer could take control of your network and make you pay a billion dollars to get it back. ceo: good work. what do we owe you? dogbert: the audit is free. i only did it to find ways to blackmail you.

Microwaving Fish

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Microwaving Fish - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #microwave, #fish, #working from home, #smell, #rotting, #corpse, #cubicle

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boss on phone. boss: asok, you need to stop microwaving fish. i can't work with that smell in the air. asok on phone: i'm working from home. maybe you should check the cubicles for a rotting corpse. boss walking and thinking: maybe i'll let the janitor do that.

Dogbert The Watcher

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Dogbert The Watcher - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work from home, #bribe, #home, #nap, #efficient, #employer, #employment, #wiser, #unethical

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dilbert at home. dilbert: i did more work from home today before 10 a.m. than i could do in the office all day. i could take a nap for the rest of the day, and no one would be the wiser. dogbert: your employer pays me to watch you at home, but i wouldn't say no to a well-considered bribe. dilbert: i can work with that.

Can't Tell When He Is Joking

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Can't Tell When He Is Joking - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #joking, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #technology, #employment, #moon lighting, #work, #video conference

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dilbert, boss and asok in front of laptop on video conference call. voice from laptop: excuse me. i have to take a call from one of the other employers who also believes i work for them full time from home. boss to dilbert: i can't tell when he's joking. dilbert: that's probably for the best.

Wally Does Three Jobs

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Wally Does Three Jobs - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #money, #fortune, #employer, #employment, #working from home, #job, #manage, #expectations, #people

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wally and dilbert on video conference call. wally: i'm making a fortune working from home. three different employers think i work only for them. dilbert: how do you do three jobs at the same time: wally: it comes down to managing other people's expectations.

Bad Attitude

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Bad Attitude - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #work, #exceptional, #complain, #attitude, #bad, #dislike, #sarcasm

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boss: your work has been exceptional, but people are complaining about your attitude. dilbert: aren't the people who are doing the complaining usually the ones with bad attitudes. boss: they think you dislike them. dilbert: i do, but i have a terrific attitude about it.

Reimagine Ted's Job

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Reimagine Ted's Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boring, #business, #job, #new, #pay, #projects, #reimagine, #technology, #compensation

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boss: ted, we need to reimagine your job. ted: i hope that means you will replace the boring parts of my job with exciting new projects. boss: it doesn't mean that. boss: does it mean doing the same work for higher pay?