Two Week Notice Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Two Week Notice

View 31 - 40 results for two week notice comic strips. Discover the best "Two Week Notice" comics from Dilbert.com.

Should Have Done It Sooner

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Should Have Done It Sooner - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #dollars, #failure, #managers & supervisors, #patch, #payroll, #problem, #raise, #savings, #software, #technology, #years

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i wrote a software patch that will save three million dollars per year. i feel as if i deserve a bonus or a raise. boss: when did you do it? dilbert: this week. boss: how long did we have the problem? dilbert: five years. boss: then you should have fixed it five years ago. looks like a gigantic failure to me. you should be ashamed of yourself. in another room catbert: did you try my strategy for keeping payroll expenses low? boss: works like magic.

Working At Home

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Working At Home - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accomplished, #business, #fort, #goof, #health, #home, #version, #working, #coronavirus

View Transcript

Transcript

day one of working from home dilbert thinking: i'm getting a lot done. day two of working from home dilbert thinking laying on the couch: if i goofed off a little, would anyone know? day three of working from home dogbert: lame fort. dilbert under fort made from couch cushions and blanket: it's version 1.0.

Great Job For Someone

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Great Job For Someone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office workers, #job, #opening, #private, #office, #opportunity, #background, #rid

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i hear there's a great job opening in operations for someone with your background. big salary, private office. looks like a great opportunity for you. office worker: are you trying to get rid of me? dilbert: not in a way you are suppose to notice.

Mind Control

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Mind Control - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #Dogbert, #slump, #sales, #clone, #product, #shoddy, #mind, #control, #legal, #notice

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: my team of dogbert clones has reversed your slumping sales. your products are still shoddy, but we use mind control to make people not notice. it's all perfectly legal. boss: i wasn't going to ask.

Two Futures

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Two Futures - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #psychology, #future, #brakes, #cliff, #die, #instant

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert The Futurist dogbert: i see two potential futures for you. in one future, your brakes fail and you drive off a cliff, dying instantly upon impact. office worker: and in the other future? dogbert: it's less instant.

Mandatory Blockchain Class

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Mandatory Blockchain Class - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #technology, #class, #mandatory, #blockchain, #introductory, #experienced, #developer, #instructor, #phone call

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: you haven't completed the mandatory class on blockchain. dilbert: that's an introductory class. i'm already an experienced blockchain developer. boss: the class is mandatory. every developer needs to check the box. dilbert: just check the box for me. boss: only the instructor can do that. and i don't want to call him because he rambles on and on. dilbert looking distressed: you want me to take a two-day class so you won't have to make a phone call? boss: i knew you'd understand. dilbert: what if taking the class causes me to miss my deadlines? boss: no problem. i'll just cancel your bonus.

Wally Rounds Off

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Rounds Off   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #business, #work, #critical, #tasks, #failed, #enjoyment, #anger

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: i did no work this week because i had too many critical tasks to do. no matter what i worked on, i would have failed to do the other 99% of tasks that were equally critical. so i rounded it off to 100% and enjoyed my week. alice yelling: why do i work here??? why???

Purchasing Department

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Purchasing Department - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #purchasing, #vendor, #market, #quote, #coffee

View Transcript

Transcript

Purchasing Manager Bob: you need there vendor quotes, or i can't approve it. dilbert: there are only two vendors in that market. bob: come back when something changes.

Before Or After Firing

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Before Or After Firing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #prototype, #request, #fire

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: we destroyed all of the prototypes you requested. boss: i never asked for anything remotely like that. dilbert: ted said you did. boss: did he tell you that before or after i fired him last week?

Dilbert Organizes The Lab

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Organizes The Lab  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sarcasm, #business, #tech, #lab, #reorganize, #co-workers, #grateful

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: this week i reorganized the tech lab from top to bottom. dogbert: were your co-workers grateful? dilbert: yes, assuming they show it by rummaging through the wrong drawers and cursing.