Unemployment Benefits Comic Strips - Page 4
62 Results for Unemployment Benefits
View 31 - 40 results for unemployment benefits comic strips. Discover the best "Unemployment Benefits" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share August 07, 2004's comic on:
The Boss: "Our corporate goal is to become one of Fortune magazine's top 100 companies to work for!" The boss: "We hope to do it without giving you any additional money, benefits or freedom." Wally: "Then how could you possibly motivate us to say we're happy to work … uh-oh."
Share April 28, 2004's comic on:
Catbert, the evil director of HR "Married employees cost us more because spouses get benefits." "If we can get our employees to marry each other we'll save money." "Have you ever noticed how the fluorescent light glistens off of Wally's head."
Share April 07, 2004's comic on:
"I've added mumbling and peevishness to my work-avoidance arsenal." "I get the benefits of appearing knowledgeable without the burden of sharing." "Um, I didn't hear what you said." "Sheeeesh!"
Share February 05, 2003's comic on:
Dilbert says to The Boss, "I'm taking a mood-altering prescription drug to treat a skin rash." Dilbert continues, "I still itch, but I don't care. In fact, I don't even think you're a huge, stinkin' weasel." Dilbert points to The Boss with both hands and exclaims, "I love you! You da man!" The Boss replies, "Remind me to cancel your health benefits."
Share August 10, 2002's comic on:
Dilbert, Allen, and Wally are eating lunch. Allen says, "I telecommuted for four years without knowing until today that I'd been fired." Allen continues, "Apparently unemployment feels exactly like empowerment." Allen continues, "This is just like that movie, 'The Sixth Sense.' Did you like that movie, Wally?... Wally?"
Share June 09, 2002's comic on:
The Boss addresses a meeting, "The merger has been approved." The Boss continues, "Our evil director of human resources will blend the acquired company's benefits with our own." Alice, Dilbert, and Wally cry, "WAAA! WAAA! WAAA!" The Boss thinks, "Apparently they know what blending means." Catbert says to the other HR director, "Let's see... My company offers six months of maternity leave for mothers." The other HR director replies, "We treat 'em like smokers. They have to squat in the parking lot for 10 minutes then go back to work." Catbert says, "That's very evil.. We'll adopt your program." The other HR director responds, "Thanks." The Boss reads the new benefits plan. He asks, "What is 'draining?' Catbert responds, "Our company called it training."
Share July 02, 2001's comic on:
Wally and Dilbert sit in the breakroom eating lunch with a co-worker. The co-worker says, "I spend all day writing code for another company while it looks like I'm doing my job here." The co-worker pauses from eating a sandwich and says, "Crime pays, and it also has an excellent benefits package." Wally looks at his co-worker and says, "Are you eating my sandwich?" The co-worker answers, "I'm saving mine for dinner."
Share March 11, 2000's comic on:
Alice says to the Boss: "I've been asked to quantify the benefits of our knowledge management systems." She points to a photograph of an intern: "I measured our intern's head to see if it got bigger." She explains: "The higher drag coefficient means we lost a little in the sandwich-fetching department."
Share September 06, 1998's comic on:
Dilbert approaches a worker sitting at his desk. He is holding a piece of paper and says, "Why did the I.S. department deny my request for a P.C. upgrade?" The worker holds up his arms and shouts, "Because we are evil incarnate! BUWAHAHAHA!!" Dilbert says, "I was looking for something more specific." The worker holds out the paper and says, "You didn't provide a dollar estimate of the benefits." Dilbert says, "That's ridiculous. I can't put a value on every tool I need to do my job." The worker sits back in his chair with his arms folded and says, "If you can't quantify it, then it must not be necessary." Dilbert throws up his hands and says, "Then why does the company give me a chair? I can't quantify that either." Dilbert sits on the floor of his cubicle, without a chair. He thinks, "Here's one more reason why it stinks to be me."
Share August 21, 1998's comic on:
Catbert talks to the boss. The boss sits at his desk. Catbert says, "The employees aren't falling fror the old "intangible benefits" story anymore." The boss says, "Uh-oh. We don't earn enough money to give tangible benefits to employees AND stockholders." Caption: Stockholder meeting. The boss presents a sign that reads "Stock" and has a plummeting line. The boss says, "...Now let's discuss your intangible benefits..." One stockholder pulls a gun. Another stockholder waves his can and curses.