Unlimited Vacation Days Comic Strips - Page 4

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240 Results for Unlimited Vacation Days

View 31 - 40 results for unlimited vacation days comic strips. Discover the best "Unlimited Vacation Days" comics from Dilbert.com.

Needing Vacations

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Needing Vacations - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 17, 2016's comic on:


Tags #vacation, #necessity, #career, #insult

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Man: Do you have any vacations planned? Dilbert: No. I haven't bungled my career so badly that I need to escape from it. Man: I take vacations. Dilbert: I hear you need a lot of them.

Do Not Talk To Ted

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Do Not Talk To Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 02, 2016's comic on:


Tags #secret, #keeping secrets, #deception

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Boss: Don't talk to Ted until I have time to tell him I cut his project. Dilbert: When will that be? Boss: I don't know. My European vacation starts tomorrow. Ted: Do you have ten seconds to talk? Dilbert: Check back in fifteen days.

The Science Of Astrology

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The Science Of Astrology - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 11, 2016's comic on:


Tags #Astrology, #metaphysics, #science, #planning, #sign, #zodiac, #pseudoscience

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Carol: I'll need to know your astrological sign before I put you on his schedule. In the old days, I just gave people the first available slot. It was chaos. Dilbert: So now you use the science of astrology? Carol: It's better than science. It's an art.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 26, 2015's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #first impression, #culture, #interview, #job interview, #deception, #revenge, #nice, #niceness, #nice people, #business

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Job Interview. Boss; When I make hiring decisions, my biggest priority is cultural fit. Man: Your buzzwords are like music to my unemployed ears. And here come some employees who can tell me about your company culture. Boss: Uh-oh. Man: Hey, guys. Can I ask some questions about the culture here? Dilbert: Working here is like a paradise. Wally: Best place ever. Dilbert: Our days are full of laughter, hugging, and camaraderie. Wally: Coffee is free! Man: Wow. Thanks. I look forward to working here. Boss: ??? Dilbert: I didn't like that guy. Wally: I'm glad we got our revenge in advance.

The Boredom Of Living Off The Grid

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The Boredom Of Living Off The Grid - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 30, 2015's comic on:


Tags #hiding, #grid, #off the grid, #bored, #bore, #boredom, #Entertainment

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Dilbert: The government will never find me off the grid. G-Man 1: He went off the grid. G-Man 2: Problem solved. The boredom will kill him in two days. Dilbert: Looking at a stick. Still looking at a stick.

Click Rate On Death Alerts

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Click Rate On Death Alerts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 16, 2015's comic on:


Tags #advertising, #technology, #analytics, #smart watch, #app, #ad, #click, #clickbait, #attention, #distraction

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Boss: Our health app accurately predicts the user's time of death and sends a five-minute warning. Our business model is paid advertising that we disguise as "death alerts." CEO: How's the click-through rate? Boss: Surprisingly low. It's hard to get people's attention these days.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 22, 2015's comic on:


Tags #deadline, #expectation, #impossible, #irrational, #leadership, #motivation, #rationality

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Boss: How many days will it take to finish the tests? Dilbert: Three. Boss: You have two. Dilbert: I can't do it in two days. That's why I said three. Boss: That was before I used my leadership skills to tell you to do it in two days. Dilbert: Leadership doesn't change the laws of physics. The test takes three days. Boss: You have two. Leadership! These test results look incomplete. Dilbert: Just like my soul.

Alice Is Rested From Vacation

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Alice Is Rested From Vacation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 29, 2014's comic on:


Tags #anger, #relaxation, #stress, #vacation, #work, #rested, #aftreglow, #text message, #enraged

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Alice: I feel so rested and relaxed after my vacation. I wonder how long this afterglow will last because... excuse me while I check this text message. Dilbert: Is it too late to start timing it? [Alice is on fire]

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 21, 2014's comic on:


Tags #managers, #managers & supervisors, #morale, #robots, #problems, #lying, #spectacular job, #award randomly, #in charge, #robot boss, #temporary, #employees, #oversight, #business

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Boss: Did you have any problems filling in for me while I was on vacation? Robot: It was hard at first. I couldn't tell who was lying about doing a spectacular job. Boss: That's why I reward them randomly. Robot: I tried that and it did seem to settle them down.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 16, 2014's comic on:


Tags #insult, #insulting, #insults, #obliviousness, #robot, #filling in, #vacation, #soul less creature, #questionable intelligence

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Boss: Our robot will be sitting in for me while I'm on vacation. I hope you can get used to taking orders from a soulless creature of questionable intelligence. Wally: I think I can do that. Boss: That's the spirit!