Valuable Input Comic Strips - Page 4
110 Results for Valuable Input
View 31 - 40 results for valuable input comic strips. Discover the best "Valuable Input" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share December 16, 2008's comic on:
Dilbert: I worry that being assigned to work on the legacy systems will make me appear less valuable in the future. Catbert: You have my word that you could never appear less valuable than you are now. Gilbert: Why do your assurances make me feel worse? Catbert: Your new dress code is "troll."
Share August 10, 2008's comic on:
The Boss says, "We can't move forward until you get input from Allen." The Boss says, "And that won't be easy. Allen is an amorphous cloud of gas." The Boss says, "He once was human like us." The Boss says, "Allen was afraid to give his opinion or make a decision." The Boss says, "He put so much effort into avoiding commitment that his molecules stopped binding together." The Boss says, "Now he exists as nothing but a subtle odor near the copier room." Dilbert says, "How can I get his input?" The Boss says, "Don't make me micromanage you." Dilbert says, "Allen? Is that you?" Wally says, "Sorry."
Share May 12, 2008's comic on:
Share March 04, 2008's comic on:
Catbert: Evil director of human resources Wally: I'd like to change my job title to something with 'architect' in it. My dream is to do less work while allegedly being more valuable. Catbert: The best I can do is 'code monkey. Wally: How about 'software simian'?"
Share December 09, 2007's comic on:
The Boss: "I need a cost estimate on your project." Dilbert: "I have no idea I haven't even gathered the user requirements." The Boss: "Don't worry I won't hold you to the estimate." Dilbert: "Yes you will. You will put it in the plan, forget we had this conversation, and fire me when I go over budget." The boss: "Give me a number or I'll fire you right now." Dilbert: "Okay, it will cost ten million dollars." The Boss: "That's too high." Dilbert: "If you already know the cost why are you asking me?" The Boss: "So you'll feel like you had input." Dilbert: "Is input supposed to feel this bad?"
Share August 01, 2007's comic on:
The Boss: Wally, I bought Dogbert's Management Software to yell at you so I don't have to." "I recommend Track 3, titled 'You're my least valuable asset'." Dogbert: Who wants to buy Dogbert's noise cancellation headphones for bad employees?" "I need you less than my mousepad."
Share July 18, 2007's comic on:
Share March 25, 2007's comic on:
And now for another round of e-mail judo. "Let's see...This guy wants me to attend a meeting." "Eee-yah! I'll tell him I'm booked." "This guy wants some information." "Eee-yah! I'll tell him my hard drive crashed." "This idiot wants my input on his document." "Eee-yah! I'll tell him the attachment won't open." "Who's winning today?" "Not the people who sent me e-mail. Eee-yah!"
Share March 04, 2007's comic on:
Wally: "May I see the vacation schedule?" Carol: "Why do you want it?" Wally: "No reason." "Well, Ted, I hope you're enjoying your vacation." The Boss: "Wally, do you have the cost estimates?" Wally: "I'm waiting for Ted's input. He's on vacation." The Boss: "How about the revised time-line?" Wally: "I'm waiting for Ted." "Do you need any office supplies? I'm going to the store." Dilbert: "Maybe some pens." TED Wally: "Limited selection but excellent prices." Dilbert: "Thanks." Wally: "So, I understand you have a vacation next week."
Share July 18, 2006's comic on:
"My pointy-haired boss couldn't make it, so he asked me to take notes." "The entire reason for this meeting is to get his input. How the @#$% does taking notes help??" "The...entire..."