Wildly Successful Comic Strips - Page 4
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Wally says, "The successful work - avoider combines a fake eagerness to help with just a hint of likely failure." Man says, "Wally, I need load calcs in an hour." Wally says, "No problem! Unless my computer keeps crashing like it did all morning." Man says, "I'll ask someone else." Wally says, "I am begging you to let me help!" Asok thinks, "Wow!"
Mordac: You will get a survey asking you how satisfied you were with my service today. If you don't rate my service superior in all categories, I will lose my jobs and my wife will leave me for a more successful man. Dilbert: Is she cute? Mordac: Why do you ask?
"I acquired the musky scent of failure. Do you have anything that can get rid of it?" "Try being successful at something important." "I work in a fabric-covered box." "Okay, then try rubbing this behind both ears."
"How was your conference call?" "Very successful. Bill said he'd find a new supplier for the casing." "Or it might have been Ron, Ted, or Bob. They all sound the same on the phone." "I hope it wasn't Bill. He never follows through." "Ron is too overworked, Ted is a liar and Bob's a moron." "I'd say the call was a waste of time. It might even be a huge step backward." "Success is the happy feeling you get between the time you do something and the time you tell a woman what you did."
I'm going to start a high tech company in the garage. "Some of the most successful companies started in garages. It must help somehow." "I wonder if those other guys had homeowner rules about not parking in the driveway."
RAtbert: You're a successful engineer and I'm a failed CEO. It's kind of funny that I'm worth $100 million and you're not. " It's funny because it's all reverse of how it should be." Dilbert: "It's funny because your head wouldn't normally fit inside a glass."
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "Don't worry about being downsized after the reorganization." "Downsized employees will get my free DVD that teaches you how to live off the land." "The key to successful shoplifting is running very fast."
Dilbert: Our new product is either wildly successful or underwater... DIlbert: depending on ho you want to allocate management over head expenses. Dilbert: Apparently you don't want to think about it and get back to me
Dogbert stands on The Boss' desk and says, "You need a body double. They're popular with your most successful despots." Dogbert continues, "If someone tries to ambush you into making a decision, the double will take the hit." The Boss approaches Asok with a pointy-haired hat in his hands and says, "I want you to think of this as your own personal dress code."