Search Results for "winning"
Share August 20, 2003's comic on:
Dilbert: "And you failed at your primary objective of winning a bid for the galatikus job." "That's because you said you'd deliver the bid on time, but you got seduced by Irish line-dancing lessons and forgot to mail it!" The Boss: "I can't believe you're trying to pin the blame on the Irish."
Share August 19, 2003's comic on:
"After months of work, I finished our bid for the huge galatikus project." "I'll deliver it to them." "If it's on minute late, we'll be disqualified. The future of our company depends on us winning this bid." "He must think I'm a... Whoa, what's this?" "Irish line dancing lessons 10% off."
Share July 05, 2003's comic on:
Headline: Meanwhile In Heck... Phil is playing poker with a snowman. Phil says, "You're on a winning streak, Snowball." Phil goes over to the thermostat and adjusts the temperature. He says, "But let's see what happens to your chances when I turn up the heat!" Phil says into the telephone, "That's right - the furnace is broken again!" Snowball says, "Four queens."
Share May 30, 2003's comic on:
In a meeting, a co-worker hands Dilbert a brochure and exclaims, "The new product brochures have already won design awards!" Dilbert responds, "That's great, but our product won't do any of the things you claim here." The co-worker crosses his arm and says, "Well, who should we believe - the award-winning designer or the guy who can't stop complaining?"
Share January 02, 2002's comic on:
Dilbert approaches a coworker and says, "I need your cost estimates for my bid proposal." The coworker says, "A billion dollars." Dilbert responds, "That sounds high for administrative overhead." The coworker replies, "If you already know the cost, why ask me?" Dilbert says angrily, "You'll make us lose the bid." The coworker replies, "I like to think of it as winning less work."
Share January 01, 2002's comic on:
Dilbert is sitting at his computer. The Boss approaches and says, "Dilbert, I want you to put together the winning bid for this contract." Dilbert responds, "No problem, I'll just read the minds of our competitors and bid lower." Dilbert continues, "I'm picking up something now... But it's partly blocked by a dense mass."
Share January 02, 2001's comic on:
Dilbert, Topper and Wally are sitting at a table. Dilbert, wiggling his fingers, says, "I'm getting a mouse cramp." Topper says to Dilbert and Wally, "I spent seven years chained upside down to an Elbonian prison wall." Topper says to Dilbert and Wally, "At the risk of sounding too competitive, I believe I'm winning this conversation."
Share January 10, 1999's comic on:
Dogbert sits at Dilberts computer. Dilbert stands in a robe with a cup of coffee. Dogbert says, "I'm writing a comprehensive "how to" book." Dogbert says, "In chapter one, I teach people how to pick winning lottery numbers." Dogbert says, "Chapter two: How to find free real estate in very nice neighborhoods." Dogbert says, "Chapter three: how to lose weight by eating huge tubs of ice cream." Dogbert says, "Chapter four: how to build strong abs by joining a gym and never going." Dogbert says, "Finally, how to see angels by giving yourself a near death experience." Dogbert says, "That last one is just to get rid of all the witnesses." Dilbert thinks, "On the plus side I don't feel so bad about not recycling."
Share June 21, 1998's comic on:
The Boss sits at his desk in front of his computer, looking at his watch. The Boss says, "What the...?" The Boss goes into Dilbert's cubicle and says, "You respond too quickly to my e-mail." The Boss continues, "Obviously, you aren't focusing on priorities." Dilbert turns and replies, "I do e-mail while my program is compiling." The Boss says, "You can't weasel out of this with your technical mumbo jumbo." Dilbert says, "You win. I'll ignore your e-mail from now on." The Boss walks back to his office and thinks, "The important thing is that I win." The Boss sits in front of his computer and thinks, "I wonder if MY programs ever compile."
Share April 08, 1994's comic on:
"What makes these a 'value'?" "Value priced lottery tickets" "They're half the normal price, and yet the chance of winning is only one in ten million less." "Hey! This is for yesterday's lottery!" "And your point is...?