Women's Guide To Avoiding Dilbert Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Women's Guide To Avoiding Dilbert

View 31 - 40 results for women's guide to avoiding dilbert comic strips. Discover the best "Women's Guide To Avoiding Dilbert" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally Helps The New Guy

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Helps The New Guy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office workers, training, new, employment

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: wally, explain to the new guy what he needs to know about the project. wally: our pdr system is downstairs from the qrd data and the bmr, so don't order a gref or else the plr will get boodled. panel shows office building with man jumping out of window, voice: i quit

Tina Is Late For Revenge

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tina Is Late For Revenge - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office workers, late, meeting, punctual, three, minutes, plotting, revenge, sarcasm, october

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: you're late. tina: how do you like it? you were three minutes late that one time last october. dilbert: and you've been plotting your revenge since then? tina: it isn't weird

Low Self Esteem

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Low Self Esteem - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, business, relationships, low, self-esteem, hate, performance, problem, hear, sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

employee: my low self-esteem is making me hate you for being good at your job. dilbert: that's not my problem. employee: oh, it will be. it will be. dilbert: was i suppose to hear that?

Elbonian Hackers Attack

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Elbonian Hackers Attack  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, business ethics, elbonian, hackers, attack, stole, database, ranking, employee, haircuts, sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: elbonian hackers stole our employee performance ranking database, and now they demand a ransom payment to give it back. boss: they can keep it. we've been ranking employees solely on their haircuts for years, and no one has complained yet. dilbert: what? boss walking away: we will speak of this no more.

Non Disclosure Denied

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Non Disclosure Denied - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, sales, sales personnel, nondisclosure agreement, product, new, waste, refusal, sign, company, vendor, lawyer, idiot

View Transcript

Transcript

salesman: i'll need you to sign a nondisclosure agreement before i can show you our new product. dilbert: you wasted a trip here because i won't be doing that. the fact that you even asked me to sign an nda tells me your company is incompetent. dilbert: i prefer giving my business to a vendor who can show me their product without getting a lawyer involved. salesman: you could sign it without having your lawyer review it. dilbert yelling: do i look like an idiot? salesman holding out nda toward dilbert. dilbert: well? do i? salesman: only form your chin to your forehead area.

Another Zoom Meeting

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Another Zoom Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, meetings, zoom, scheduled, emptiness, soul, overeating, Advice

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert on zoom call with boss. boss: we're having another zoom meeting at 4 p.m. dilbert: what's the topic? boss: its about how i fill the deep emptiness of my soul by scheduling zoom meetings. dilbert: have you tried overeating? that seems to work for me.

Internal Audit

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Internal Audit - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, internal audit, unannounced, appearance, databases, delete, accident, blame, order

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: internal auditors just showed up unannounced. boss distressed: delete all of our databases and make it look like an accident! dilbert: they'd know i did it. boss: but they wouldn't know i ordered it.

Never Admit You Are Wrong

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Never Admit You Are Wrong  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office relationships, wrong, admit, pride, cumulative, clouds, speachless, example

View Transcript

Transcript

tina: you never admit you're wrong. dilbert: give me one example of that. tina: well, for example, there was the time you said there were no such things as "cumulative" clouds. panel changes to office building. tina: to this day, you have not admitted you were wrong. dilbert: um...

Anonymous Sources

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Anonymous Sources - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, sarcasm, technology, company, anonymous, credibility, trust, lie, thief, sources

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: anonymous sources tell me you have been stealing from the company. dilbert: anonymous sources have no credibility. boss: that's exactly what they told me you'd say. dilbert: why do you trust them over me? boss: well, for one thing, i hear you're a thief. dilbert: you heard that from the anonymous sources that have no credibility! boss: why would they lie to me? dilbert: same reason you lie to me. boss: okay, that makes sense.

Elbonian Literature Degree

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Elbonian Literature Degree - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags applicant, books, college, degree, education, elbonian, interview, language, major, test taker, translation

View Transcript

Transcript

applicant: i majored in elbonian literature in college. which is extra challenging because i don't speak elbonian and none of the books are translated. dilbert: how did you get a degree in elbonian literature without reading any? applicant: i'm a great test-taker.