Work Guraenteed Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Work Guraenteed

View 31 - 40 results for work guraenteed comic strips. Discover the best "Work Guraenteed" comics from Dilbert.com.

No Internet

Thank you for voting.
No Internet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 17, 2018's comic on:


Tags #business, #complaining, #engineering, #office workers, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The network will be down all day, but try to do what you can without it. Dilbert: What can we do without it besides drink coffee, complain, and whittle? Boss: No knives at work. Dilbert: Hold off on the whittling.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 11, 2018's comic on:


Tags #boss, #cost, #engineering, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #ladder, #waste

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Do you know where I can find a ladder? Dilbert: I can help you with that, but it will come at a big cost. It took me all morning to finally get "in the zone" to figure out this bug. Your interruption will set me back to square one and cost an entire day of productivity. Meanwhile, the rest of the team can't do their work because they are waiting for me to fix this bug first. So yes, I can help you find a ladder. But it will cost the company about $12,000 in lost productivity. I hope you have a good reason to need a ladder. Boss: I do. Ten minutes earlier. Boss: I wonder what ceiling tiles feel like.

Speakerphones

Thank you for voting.
Speakerphones - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 06, 2018's comic on:


Tags #boss, #criticism, #distraction, #managers & supervisors, #office, #office workers, #phone call, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I accomplished nothing this week because my idiot co-workers continue to use their speakerphones in the office. This is compounded by the fact that my idiot boss doesn't allow me to work from home. If you need me, I'll be sitting in my cubicle doing nothing but waiting for other people's phone calls to end.

Best Places To Work

Thank you for voting.
Best Places To Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 03, 2018's comic on:


Tags #employees, #employment, #irony, #lying, #managers & supervisors, #office

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We're trying to get on "best places to work" list. If you agree to lie on the survey, maybe we can attract some good employees to make this a best place to work. Dilbert: What? Boss: Keep your eye on the prize.

Boss Leads All The Way

Thank you for voting.
Boss Leads All The Way - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 31, 2018's comic on:


Tags #business, #encouragement, #irritation, #managers & supervisors, #trick, #deadline

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We'll all need to work around the clock to meet the launch schedule. I'll be leading you every step of the way! Now, don't hate me because I can lead you while I'm home asleep. That's not my fault.

Intentionally Underbidding

Thank you for voting.
Intentionally Underbidding - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 30, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #intentionally, #underbidding, #extra-shoddy, #work, #grossly, #overcharging, #upgrades, #criminal, #organization, #proven

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: We won the job by intentionally underbidding. But we can close the profit gap by doing extra-shoddy work and grossly overcharging for upgrades. Dilbert: Are we a criminal organization? The Boss: Not in a way that can easily be proven.

You Have To Work Hard To Succeed

Thank you for voting.
You Have To Work Hard To Succeed - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 18, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #Wally, #work, #hard, #single, #day, #years, #succeed, #topic

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: If you want to succeed, you have to work hard every single day for years. Dilbert: That sounds awful. You just talked me out of wanting to succeed. Did you work that hard to get where you are? The Boss: Next topic!

Copersons

Thank you for voting.
Copersons - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 17, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #correct, #co-worker, #work, #co-person, #leech

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: What is the correct name for a co-worker who doesn't do any actual work? I'm thinking "co-person," or possibly just, "leech." Wally: Are we working right now? Dilbert: Good point, co-person.

Everyone Else Is Lazy And Useless

Thank you for voting.
Everyone Else Is Lazy And Useless - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 16, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #team, #meeting, #lazy, #useless, #propose, #marinate, #bile, #raise, #hands, #grunt

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Everyone on this team except me is lazy and useless. I propose that I do all of the work for the team. While the rest of you marinate in your own bile. All in

Everyone Else Is Worthless

Thank you for voting.
Everyone Else Is Worthless - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 15, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #fire, #pawn, #problems, #project, #the boss, #useless, #work

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: I'm adding you to the network upgrade project. Everyone else on the team is lazy and useless, so I need you to do all of their work. Dilbert: Maybe you should fire them. The Boss: Don't try to pawn off your problems on me.