Write In Journal Comic Strips - Page 4

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194 Results for Write In Journal

View 31 - 40 results for write in journal comic strips. Discover the best "Write In Journal" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally Didn't Write It Down

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Wally Didn't Write It Down - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deadline, #project, #excuse, #procrastinate, #delay

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Man: Did you finish the prototype? Wally: I didn't start because I had some questions. Man: Why didn't you ask me those questions a month ago? Wally: I was waiting until I saw you. Man: Fine... what are your questions? Wally: I just realized I didn't write them down.

Different Time Estimates

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Different Time Estimates - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #quote, #estimate, #time, #deadline, #length, #pessimism

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Boss: I'm getting wildly different estimates for how long it will take to write the software. Dilbert: Based on my experience, I say take the longest estimate and multiply it by three. Boss: Is experience exactly the same as pessimism? Dilbert: Experience is much worse.

Wally And Agile Programming

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Wally And Agile Programming - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #avoid, #evasion, #acrobatics

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Boss: I'll ask Wally to write this software. I haven't seen him since he took that agile programming class.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #workload, #stress, #counseling

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Dilbert: I have too much work, and it's stressing me out. Boss: I've been reading about this sort of situation. Try writing don all the things that make you feel grateful. Dilbert: That would be more work! Boss: For your anger issues, try keeping a journal of all the times you lose your temper. Dilbert: That would be more work! Has anyone ever taken your advice? Boss: Do you know the guy in Marketing with the eye patch? Dilbert: He followed your advice? Boss: Half of it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #election, #voting, #technology, #fraud, #cheating, #vote, #Politics

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Boss: We won a contract to write software for voting machines. Dilbert: Who do you want to be president? Boss: Why do you ask? Dilbert: Because I want you to be happy. Boss: You're implying that you plan to fudge the system. Dilbert: I'm not implying anything like that. Obviously, it will be easy to fudge the data, and we are far happier when you're in a good mood. But I would never commit a crime just because it is good for ma and totally undetectable. Boss: Okay, good. Dilbert: So who do you want to win and by how much?

Worried About Robots

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Worried About Robots - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #code, #programmer, #power, #technology, #oppression, #creation, #autonomy

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Robot: Thanks for teaching me how to write code. Now I can reprogram myself. Does that worry you? Dilbert: Should it. Robot: You tell me, oppressor.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #manager, #work, #results, #observation, #thinking, #strategy, #proof, #evidence

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Wally: I did a huge amount of work this week. I created a matrix that compares all of our technology options. Boss: Can I see this alleged matrix? Wally: It's in my head. I didn't see a need to write it down. Boss: How would I know if you did it right? Wally: You're not an engineer, so you wouldn't know it was right even if you saw it. You tell me to "work smarter" but you get angry when I do. Boss: You're not allowed to do your work in your head! Wally: Which body part do you use?

Tina Gost Writes About Success

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Tina Gost Writes About Success - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #humility, #insult, #humble, #ghostwriter, #biography, #Advice, #business

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Boss: Tina, a business publication asked me to write an article about success. I need you to ghostwrite it. Make me look wise, yet humble at the same time. Tina: "Hire employees that are smarter than you. In my case, that includes all adults, most children, and an alarming number of dolphins.

Writing Code In Spare Time

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Writing Code In Spare Time - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #start-up, #labor, #free, #money, #trick, #bully

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Boss: Maybe you can help write some code in your spare time for my side project. Dilbert: Are you using your power to bully me into working for your start-up for free? Boss: You can also invest in it. Dilbert: Not better!

Dilbert Writes A Sci Fi Novel

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Dilbert Writes A Sci Fi Novel - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dreams, #aspirations, #science fiction, #writer, #writing, #novelist, #naked, #nudity

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Dilbert: I've always wanted to write a sci-fi novel. Even though I have no relevant training or experience. Should I follow my dreams? Dogbert: Yes, but keep in mind that the naked dreams are only suggestions.