10 Dollars Bug Fix Comic Strips - Page 4
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408 Results for 10 Dollars Bug Fix
View 31 - 40 results for 10 Dollars Bug Fix comic strips. Discover the best "10 Dollars Bug Fix" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday August 06,
1992
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, farmer, windham, saint theresa, can, varnish, worshipers, farm, miracle, admission, quipped, peanut butter, bug
Transcript
Dogbert sits on the hassock watching television. The tv newscaster says, "A farmer in Windham claims that the face of Saint Theresa appeared in a can of varnish." The reporter continues, "Worshipers are flocking to the farm to witness the miracle. 'I should charge for admission' quipped the farmer." Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert enters holding a can of peanut butter and says, "Guess what I found in the peanut butter." Dilbert thinks, "Please, let it be a bug."
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Friday September 25,
1992
Tags Dilbert, looking, hit, man, eliminate, inventor, million, dollars, deliver, head, platter, tupperware, lettuce, crispers, loses, drama
Transcript
Dogbert sits across from a man behind a desk. Dogbert says, "I heard you're looking for a hit man to eliminate an inventor named Dilbert." Dogbert continues, "For a million dollars I can deliver his head on a platter." The man asks, "Does it have to be on a platter?" Dogbert replies, "I've tried using those Tupperware lettuce crispers, but it loses a lot of the drama."
Tuesday October 06,
1992
Tags Dilbert, abducted, aliens, hypnotized, dark, room, row, seats, popcorn, substance, feet, disgusted, dollars, enter, ship, suppressed, memory
Transcript
Dilbert sits at a table with Dogbert and says, "I didn't remember being abducted by aliens until you hypnotized me. But now I remember they looked like 'E.T.'" Dilbert looks at a drawing and continues, "I remember being in a dark room with rows of seats. They fed us a popcorn-like substance. My feet were stuck to the floor." Dilbert continues, "I recall being disgusted that they charged me six dollars to enter the ship." Dogbert says, "That's why you suppressed the memory."
Saturday November 28,
1992
Tags Dilbert, roof, leaking, fix, tomorrow, members, profession, unreliable, quote, show, return, calls, hired, nobody, repeat, customers
Transcript
Dilbert points to the ceiling and says to a roofer, "The roof is leaking there. Can you fix it tomorrow?" The roofer replies, "Well, like all members of my profession, I'm unreliable. However, I could give you a quote and then never show up or return your calls." Dilbert says, "You're hired. Nobody else would even show up for the quote." The roofer says, "I depend on repeat customers."
Saturday January 23,
1993
Tags Dogbert, romance, interpreter, logically, solve, emotional, problems, reasons, fix, hear, wisdom, compassion, arouse, talk, himself, dating, women and men
Transcript
Dogbert, Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert says, "Blah blah blah." Dogbert translates for the woman, "He's telling you how to logically solve all of the emotional problems you seem to have." Dilbert says, "Blah blah blah." Dogbert translates, "He reasons that if he can fix your problems he won't have to hear about them anymore." Dilbert says, "Blah blah me." Dogbert translates, "He hopes that the wisdom and compassion he just faked was enough to arouse you. Now he will talk about himself."
Thursday February 04,
1993
Tags Dilbert, the boss, billion, dollars, earnings, projections, level, donuts, meetings
Transcript
The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and a woman sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "The company is a billion dollars below its earnings projections." The Boss continues with his mouth full, "From now on, only the managers at my level or above may eat donuts at company meetings." The Boss continues, "This won't be easy for any of us. Heck, I don't even know if I can eat this many donuts."
Thursday March 04,
1993
Tags Dilbert, Wally, engaged, diamond, wrings, selling, tv, shopping, channel, list, price, hundred, dollars
Transcript
Linda says to Dilbert, Wally and Ted, "Look everyone, I'm engaged!" Dilbert says, "Hey, it's one of those 'near diamond' rings they were selling on the tv shopping channel for $29.95." Linda looks angry. Dilbert says, "Uh . . . Of course it has a list price of over a hundred dollars . . ." As Linda walks away Wally says to Dilbert, "Ooh, good save."
Tuesday February 28,
1995
Tags singular achievement award, we are teams, check, campiagn, one thousand dollars
Transcript
The Boss hands a check to Ted while Wally, Dilbert and Alice watch. The Boss says, "And Ted gets this 'Singular Achievement' award for creating the 'We Are Teams' campaign." The Boss continues, "It's a check for a thousand dollars! Let's all give Ted a hand." Ted walks by holding the check and Wally, Alice and Dilbert look angry. As Wally, Alice and Dilbert hit and slap Ted the Boss thinks, "These things never work the way you want them to."
Tuesday August 15,
1995
Tags dehumanization, invisible to humans, fix, wear a bag, perfect solution, hear you
Transcript
Dilbert stands in front of Dogbert waving his arms. Dilbert says, "The dehumanization of my job has rendered me invisible to humans. Only you can see me, Dogbert." Dilbert asks, "How can we fix this?" Dogbert replies, "You could wear a bag on your head when you're around me." Dilbert clenches his fists and answers, "That's not the fix I had in mind." Dogbert responds, "It's not a perfect solution. I'd still be able to hear you."
Wednesday October 11,
1995
Tags how to program, build gui, object oriented, pronounced gooey, gun object, blast bug, hall object
Transcript
The Boss sits at a computer and Wally and Dilbert stand behind him. The Boss raises his hands over the keyboard and says, "Okay, just show me how to program so I can help out on your project." Dilbert says, "You're going to build a 'G.U.I.' using object-oriented development tools . . ." Wally adds, "G.U.I. is pronounced 'gooey.'" The Boss says, "I used my gun object to blast the bug object in the hall object!!" Wally says, "Notice how gooey it is."