Ceo Comic Strips - Page 4
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627 Results for Ceo
View 31 - 40 results for CEO comic strips. Discover the best "Ceo" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday December 09,
2013
Tags executives, snobbishness, random subordinate, own boats, touch people, ceo.meeting, rich, porr
Transcript
CEO: Hello, random subordinate that I am seeing in the hallway! I'm your CEO, but I'm still like a regular person. Asok: My name is Asok. CEO: I only touch people who own boats.
Thursday December 19,
2013
Tags executives, rich people, wages, ceo lifestyle, yacht, penthouse, estate, priceless art, million dollar watch, money
Transcript
Dilbert: Hey, look! There's a story on the Internet about your fabulous CEO lifestyle. Here's a picture of your yacht, your penthouse in New York, your palatial estate, and your priceless art. CEO: This really isn't the time. Dilbert: Said the man with the million-dollar watch.
Friday January 24,
2014
Tags executives, slapped ceo, report says, success is following your instinct, being passionate, engaged, creative, meaningful, office meeting, literal meeting
Transcript
Catbert: This report says you slapped our CEO senseless after he said they key to success is following your instinct. Alice: I was following my instinct. I was also being passionate, engaged, and creative. Catbert: Apparently the things you say actually mean stuff. CEO: How was I to know!
Saturday April 12,
2014
Tags cruelty, executives, work ethic, acting ceo, murder employees, start up, unprofitable, ridiculous jargon, wishful thinking, luck, show off, management fad
Transcript
CEO: I heard that while you were acting CEO you... murdered nine employees, bought an unprofitable start-up and embraced a new management fad that is nothing but ridiculous jargon and wishful thinking. No one likes a show-off. Boss: I swear it was just luck.
Sunday December 28,
2014
Tags arguing, email, expectations, logic, sleep, winning, work ethic, promptly respond, employees, necessary, brain function, succumbs to leadership, dysfunctional moron, confsuion, win converstions, ceo, health, business
Transcript
CEO: You didn't promptly respond to my email last night. Dilbert: You sent that email at 1 a.m. CEO: I expect my employees to be checking email at all times. Dilbert: Sleep is necessary for normal brain function. Anyone who succumbs to your leadership on this topic will turn into a dysfunctional moron in 48 hours. CEO: I don't see where you're going with this. It's all so confusing to my brain. So tired... can't stay awake... Dilbert: I don't usually win conversations this decisively.
Tuesday January 20,
2015
Ceo Succession Plan
Tags inheritance & succession, insulting, strategy, loser, incompetent, honor, be considered
Transcript
CEO: The board is getting on me for not having a succession plan. Find me a loser who is so incompetent that the board won't want to fire me. Boss: It's an honor to even be considered! Catbert: I was going to say that!
Wednesday February 11,
2015
Ceo Returns From The Afterlife
Tags afterlife, angel, ceos, demon, evil, executives, good, good vs. evil, returning from the dead
Transcript
CEO: I returned from the afterlife and I'm taking back my job as CEO. Dilbert: So... you're an angel? CEO: I set all of the thermostats to 140 degrees. Let's see how long it takes you to answer your own question.
Wednesday March 04,
2015
Ceo Inflates His Own Head
Tags bonus, ceos, competition, executives, height, money, salary, wages
Transcript
Catbert: Now that our policy is to pay people based on height, your CEO salary is capped, too. CEO: That's what you think. Watch what happens when I hold my nose and close my mouth and blow. Catbert: Well, I guess it only needs to last until bonus season.
Tuesday March 10,
2015
Ceo Agrees To Mentor Wally
Monday March 16,
2015
Ceo Mentors Wally To No Avail
Tags Promotion, saving face, executives, bad advice, bad ideas, mentor, mentoring
Transcript
CEO: I've been mentoring Wally for over a week and he's still useless. But we need to promote him to Vice President so it looks as if my mentoring works. Catbert: That might be a bad idea in the long run. CEO: What is this "long run" people keep harping about?


