Acting Comic Strips - Page 4
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Character
41 Results for Acting
View 31 - 40 results for acting comic strips. Discover the best "Acting" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday June 21,
2009
Tags vacation, delegating, excuses, volunteering, cruel, mean
Transcript
The boss says, "Alice, you'll be acting manager next week while I'm on vacation." Alice says, "I can't. I'll be in a training class all week." The boss says, "Dilbert, you'll?" Dilbert says, "I'll be at a customer site all week." The boss says, "Carol..." Carol says, "I'll be getting my tubes tied." The Boss says, "Asok..." Asok says, "I'm going to my grandmother's funeral in India." Wally says, "Yes? Is there something you need me to do?" The Boss says, "Attend a funeral in India. Tell everyone you're Asok and you had a horrible accident." The boss says, "Tell them the acid destroyed your hair and your personality." Wally says, "That took an ugly turn."
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Sunday August 01,
2010
Tags mother, son, help, rebate, laptop, tv, ringtone, scheme, plan, yell, phone call, Family
Transcript
Mom says, "Dilbert, could you help me fill out this rebate form the next time you visit?" Dilbert says, "Sure, mom." Mom says, "Also, my laptop keeps crashing." Dilbert says, "I'll take a look at it." Mom says, "My TV is acting up again too." Mom says, "And maybe you could show me how to change my ringtone." Dilbert says, "Do you really need all of that help?" Dilbert says, "Or is this an elaborate scheme to inoculate against me ever wanting to move back home?" Mom says, "We have a bad connection! What? What? What?" Mom thinks, "That should buy me another six months."
Sunday November 22,
2009
Tags rude, explaining, annoyed, dancing, angry, uncaring
Transcript
Dilbert says, "My insolence safety zone has expanded." The boss says, "Your what?" Dilbert says, "It's a measure of how rude I can be without fear of consequences." Dilbert says, "You have no budget to give me a raise, so I have no potential gain from acting professionally." Dilbert says, "And it would be inconvinient for you to fire a highly experienced engineer and try to bring a new one up to speed." Dilbert says, "So from now on, when you ask me to do something stupid, which is most of the time..." Dilbert says, "I'll roll my eyes, make a dismissive grunt and do this dance." Phhhht! Dilbert says, "Hey walla-walla walla! Boopita boopita boopita!" Dilbert says, "You finally raised my morale. Good work on that."
Friday June 20,
2014
Tags gadgets, beat up, strangers, new glasses, with camera, less creepy, defenseless, user error, photoshopped, head on donkey
Transcript
Dilbert: Strangers keep beating me up for wearing our new glasses product with a camera. Boss: Have you tried acting less creepy and defenseless? Dilbert: No. Boss; Sounds like user error. Dilbert: I just Photoshopped your head on a donkey.
Saturday January 17,
2015
Fierce Employees Wanted
Tags anger, confusion, ferocity, fierce, hiring, interview, job application, job interview
Transcript
Boss: We're looking for employees who are fierce! Applicant: Should I punch you or something? I don't know how to play this. Boss: Try acting normal, but angrier.
Sunday September 27,
2015
Tags illusion, strategy, business, executives, bluff, bluffing
Transcript
CEO: Revenue is dropping, but don't panic. We have a new strategy that will fix everything. Dilbert: How do you know it's a good strategy. CEO: I can tell by looking at it. Dilbert: Why don't all failing companies create great new strategies and become profitable? CEO: Hmmm. Good question. Dilbert: Maybe it's because no one can tell a good strategy from a bad one, but acting like you know the difference gets you a bigger paycheck. CEO: I just need buy-in for the strategy. Wally: If you give me a raise, I can pretend to know it's good.
Wednesday October 12,
2016
Internet Wants Ceo To Die
Tags anger, shame, unpopular, popularity, public relations, gawker
Transcript
CEO: The company we acquired is making us look bad. Dilbert: How bad? CEO: The internet is demanding that I drink poison and apologize to the world while I die. What should I do? Dilbert: Well, I'm no doctor, but I'd go with something fast-acting.
Saturday December 03,
2016
Acting Interested In Dilbert
Tags managers, relationships, human, humanity, productivity, motivation
Transcript
Boss: I'm supposed to act interested in your well-being to boost your job performance. Dilbert: No thanks. Boss: So... how's your wife, or girlfriend, or same-sex partner, or loneliness? Dilbert: Fine. Boss: Okay, I think that covers it. Dilbert: Look! My productivity is soaring!
Tuesday October 09,
2018
Boss Acts Interested
Tags the boss, Dilbert, single, childless, article, productive, kick
Transcript
The Boss: How's your family? Dilbert: I'm still single and childless. Are you acting interested in me because you saw an article saying it would make me more productive? The Boss: Apparently it doesn't kick in right away.
Tuesday August 13,
2019
Hiring A Bad Analogy Guy
Tags office, office workers, questions, sarcasm, arrogance
Transcript
Boss: I hired a bad analogy guy. Instead of giving reasons for his opinions, he asks ridiculous questions while acting arrogant. Dilbert: That doesn't seem useful. Man: Would you say that about oxygen?

