Actual Vacation Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

140 Results for Actual Vacation

View 31 - 40 results for actual vacation comic strips. Discover the best "Actual Vacation" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 30, 1999's comic on:


Tags #vacation days, #raise, #e, #ployees, #change vacation days, #permission, #more empowered

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice is standing in front of the Bosses desk, the Boss says, "I can't give you a raise because you came to work on one of your vacation days." The Boss says, "Employees are not allowed to change vacation days without permission." The Boss says, "On an unrelated note, try to be more empowered."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 16, 1998's comic on:


Tags #evil hr director, #post prey, #vacation request form, #lose vacation, #exist, #shadows, #cubicle wall, #philosophy os useless

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert walks on the wall of Wally's cubicle. He thinks, "The evil director of human resources spots his prey." Catbert stands on top of Wally's computer and says, "Wally, you haven't filled out a vacation request form yet." Catbert continues, "If we don't get it by tomorrow, you lose your vacation." Wally asks, "Where do I get a form?" Catbert replies, "We're all out." Wally is furious and screams, "Did they ever exist?" Catbert says, "Wally, does anything really exist, or is it all just shadows on a cubicle wall?" Catbert stands and says, "I leave you with that thought." Catbert continues walking on the wall of the cubicle as Wally bangs his head on his desk. Catbert thinks, "Who says philosophy is useless?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 06, 2000's comic on:


Tags #data miner, #eureka!, #correclation, #vacation, #telecommute, #expense vouchers, #vouchers, #out sick

View Transcript

Transcript

The data miner: The boss is sitting down and Dogbert is on top of the table wearing a hard hat with the light on and hitting a laptop with a stonecutter's hammer. Dogbert says: "Eureka! I found a correlation." Dogbert says to the boss: "When you're on vacation, all your employees telecommute." The boss says: "They do?" Dogbert says to the boss: "And 100% of all expense vouchers are signed when you're sick." The boss answers: "We have vouchers?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 28, 2000's comic on:


Tags #bv day, #boss vacation, #pretend working, #all day with binder

View Transcript

Transcript

Consulting his planner, Wally tells a co-worker: "I can't meet next Tuesday because that's a B.V. day." The co-worker asks: "B.V.?" Wally explains: "Boss Vacation. I don't need to pretend I'm working that day." Consulting his planner again, Wally continues: "And on Wednesday I'll be walking around all day with a binder."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 14, 2000's comic on:


Tags #quit job, #next year, #extra week vacation, #every ten years

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says to Dilbert as they walk, "I'd quit this job, but next year I'll get an extra week of vacation." Dilbert replies, "If you get an extra week for every ten years of services..." Dilbert continues, "...you'll be happy in 480 years. Good plan." Alice replies, not humored "Shut up."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 08, 1998's comic on:


Tags #wally and boss, #no actual work, #excellent reviews, #make job helll, #moved cucbicle, #bathroom stall, #cubicle with door, #calls mother

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally sits in the Boss' office. The Boss says, "Wally, you haven't done any actual work in years, and yet we continue to pay you." Wally says, "Have I said thanks?" The Boss replies, "I'd fire you, but your performance reviews are all 'excellents." The Boss continues, "So, my plan is to make your job a living hell until you quit." Wally raises his fist and says, "You'll never win! My standards are lower than you can imagine!" The Boss says, "I'll start by moving you to a smaller cubicle." Wally crosses his arms and says, "Is that the best you got? Ha! Ha! Ha!" Wally is in a bathroom stall on the phone. He says, "Mom, guess who got an office with a door!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 16, 2001's comic on:


Tags #designed product, #gaping hole, #market, #miracle team work, #actual afeatures, #eaten by squirrels

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in front of a complex model. He points on the screen and says, "I designed a product that could fill a gaping hole in the market." Dilbert continues his presentation, pointing to a new slide with two shapes on it, nothing more. He says, "But thanks to the miracle of teamwork it turned into a product with no actual features." The next slide Dilbert points to shows a picture of himself in bed, laughing. He says, "In Phase three I fantasized about my coworkers being eaten by squirrels."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 17, 2001's comic on:


Tags #evil hr director, #average performance, #group to high, #lower ratings, #actual perfromance, #affect erfromance

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Catbert: Evil H.R. Director. Catbert is standing on The Boss' desk. Catbert reports, "The average performance evaluation for your group is too high." The Boss asks, "Do you want me to lower their ratings or their actual performance?" Catbert responds, "Whatever." Dilbert is sitting at his computer. The Boss is standing behind him with one arm reached out towards the back of Dilbert's head. Dilbert says, "This is starting to affect my performance." The Boss replies, "Why? I'm not touching you."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 03, 2001's comic on:


Tags #eliminate vacation days, #increase sick days, #make themselves sick, #evil, #hr

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Asok works in H.R. Catbert says to Asok, "If we eliminate vacation days and increase sick days..." Catbert continues, "Would the employees fall for our trap and make themselves sick to get days off?" Asok exclaims, "What?!!" Catbert says, "You're in H.R. now. It's okay to be evil." Asok replies, "Evil, right."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 09, 2001's comic on:


Tags #town hall meeting, #improve communication, #actual town hall

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "We're going to have a 'town hall' meeting to improve communication." The Boss continues, "But it's not actually in an actual town hall. And I'll have questions in advance, so it's not a meeting per se." Wally asks, "Who do we give our questions to?" The Boss replies, "I think you'll find that it doesn't matter."