Admits Guilt Comic Strips - Page 4
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45 Results for Admits Guilt
View 31 - 40 results for admits guilt comic strips. Discover the best "Admits Guilt" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday August 22,
2015
Dilbert And The Prison Gang
Tags #prison, #lawyer, #attorney, #Advice, #plead, #trial, #crime, #murder, #technicality, #guilt, #legal
Transcript
Dogbert: Your brain stimulator invention turned you into a murderer. I will argue that you can't get a fail trial by jury of your peers because all of the people like you are already in jail for doing their own stupid stuff. And I signed you up for a prison gang. All you need to do is skin a snitch.
Monday August 24,
2015
Robots Read News Of Supreme Court Ruling
Tags #supreme court, #partisan politics, #engineers, #morals, #legislation, #conservatism, #liberal, #guilt, #innocence
Transcript
Robots Read News. Robot: The Supreme Court ruled that engineers cannot be found guilty of murder. Lawyers argued that any good engineer knows how to get away with murder, so getting caught is proof of innocence. The ruling was unanimous because no one could figure out which side was the liberal one.
Thursday September 28,
2017
Dilbert's History Of Lying
Tags #accusation, #innocence, #guilt, #lying, #deception
Transcript
Boss: I can't give you a raise because of your history of lying about everything. Dilbert: I don't lie. I have a history of being falsely accused. Boss: I'll add that lie to your list. Dilbert: I don't see a path to victory here.
Friday September 29,
2017
Everything Sounds Like A Lie
Tags #lying, #deception, #catch-22, #accusation, #innocence, #guilt
Transcript
Tina: Now that everyone knows you are a liar, everything you say sounds like a lie. Dilbert: You starting assumption is wrong. I didn't lie about anything. Tina: That's exactly what liars say. Dilbert: Excuse me while I bang my head on this table until I pass out.
Sunday April 08,
2018
Tags #surveillance, #spying, #technology, #lying, #caught, #busted, #guilt, #proof
Transcript
Dilbert: Why didn't you answer my email? Boss: I didn't get it. Dilbert: My lie-detector app detected stress in your voice. I checked your email history on the server, and it confirms you opened my email. Boss: That could have been a hacker with my password. Dilbert: I'm checking the security camera footage for your office at that time. And there you are opening my email. Now will you admit you got my email? Boss: I'm seriously considering it.
Tuesday April 10,
2018
Dilbert Starts The Cover Up
Tags #conspiracy, #aspersions, #suspicion, #blame, #proof, #guilt, #innocence
Transcript
Narrator: How conspiracy theories happen. Alice: I think Dilbert is trying to ruin my career. Carol said he was mad about something I said, and hew as in the server room right before I lost my files. This morning he said he "had work to do." Boss: OMG. He already started the cover-up. Narrator: Continued...
Saturday April 14,
2018
No Path To Success
Tags #proof, #guilt, #exoneration, #accusation, #negative
Transcript
Dilbert: I emailed you proof that you were wrong when you accused me of deleting Alice's project files. Boss: Now I hate you for always needing to be right. Dilbert: I don't see a path to success here. Boss: Your negativity is like a cancer in the workplace.
Monday April 09,
2018
How Conspiracy Theories Start
Tags #conspiracy, #aspersions, #guilt, #innocence, #blame
Transcript
Narrator: How conspiracy theories start. Alice: I can't find my spreadsheet files. Asok: I saw Dilbert going into the server room. Alice: That doesn't mean any... Asok: Carol said he was mad about something you said. Narrator: Continued...
Thursday April 12,
2018
He Didn't Deny It
Tags #rumor, #conspiracy, #sources, #vetting, #accusation, #guilt, #innocence
Transcript
Narrator: How conspiracy theories happen. Catbert: I've heard from multiple sources that you deleted Alice's files on the server. Dilbert: Your multiple sources all heard it from Alice. That is only one source. Catbert: He didn't deny it. Narrator: Continued...
Friday April 13,
2018
Exactly What Guilty People Say
Tags #conspiracy, #accusation, #guilt, #innocence, #logic, #rumor
Transcript
Narrator: How conspiracy theories happen... Carol: Alice says you deleted her files on the server. Dilbert: That didn't happen. She's nuts. Carol: Ha! You wouldn't be so angry if it weren't true. Dilbert: What? That doesn't even make sense. Carol: That's exactly what guilty people say. Narrator: Continued...