Afford Movies Comic Strips - Page 4

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View 31 - 40 results for afford movies comic strips. Discover the best "Afford Movies" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #crossfire, #cnn, #only creature, #televsion, #each me, #debate, #television, #same desires, #experiences, #disagree, #stupid, #over silplfying, #Opinion, #Entertainment

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Dilbert sits at his desk next to Dogbert. Ratbert enters and says, "I've been invited to be a guest on 'Crossfire' on CNN." Ratbert says, "I'm the only creature on earth who hasn't already been on television." Ratbert asks, "Can you teach me how to debate on television, Dogbert?" Dogbert replies, "Okay." Dogbert says, "First, Ratbert, assume everybody has the same desires and experiences as you." Ratbert touches his head and says, "Absorb absorb." Dogbert continues, "Therefore, if they disagree with you they must be stupid." Dilbert says, "I think you're over-simplifying, Dogbert." Dogbert asks, "What was that opinion, Ratbert?" Ratbert replies, "Stupid!" Dogbert says, "You're ready for 'Crossfire,' Ratbert." Ratbert says, "I usually like the same movies as the fat one."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #two more people, #enough direct reports, #vice president title, #strategy

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The boss reads a memo and thinks, "If I eliminate the training budget, I can afford to hire two more people." The Boss smirks, and thinks, "Then I'll have enough direct reports to get a vice president title." Dilbert says to The Boss, "Shouldn't we have a strategy?" The Boss says, "I have one. Thanks for asking."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #any errand, #date women, #film, #movies, #ratbert, #thinks wally is hot, #Entertainment

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Ratbert the Concierge Wally: Id like a date with a woman who thinks Im hot. Remember, you promised you would do any errand for employees. Tell me again how hot I am.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mordac, #information services, #exceeded, #server storage limit, #double storage space, #mystique, #25 cents, #preventer of info

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Mordac says to Alice, "I am Mordac The Preventor of Information Services. You have exceeded your server storage limit." Alice hands Mordac a quarter and says, "Here's 25 cents so you can afford to double my storage space." Mordac walks away, looks at the quarter in his hand, and thinks, "I think my mystique just took a hit."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #decompose, #digits, #million dollars, #planned obsolescene, #upgarde, #upgrade now, #version, #newest software

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Dilbert is meeting with a salesman. The salesman says, "For only a million dollars, you can upgrade to our newest software version." The salesman continues, "Or you can slowly decompose in the miasma of our planned obsolescence." Dilbert says, "We can't afford to upgrade now." The salesman holds up a device and replies, "Say goodbye to the digits three and nine."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hire emplyees, #qaulified, #hore dumb people, #motivation

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Catbert stands on The Boss' desk and says, "We can't afford to hire qualified employees." Catbert continues, "My plan is to hire dumb people and be angry at them." Catbert replies, "I forget - what's the word for pretending that people can change their basic nature?" The Boss replies, "Motivation?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #airport security, #epidural layer, #plastic bag, #federal crime, #airport tsa, #hassle, #terrorists, #airlines, #bins, #line, #xrays

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Airport Security Please remove your jacket and shoes Please remove your epidermal layer and put it in a plastic bag. It is a federal crime to mention the movies "Ishtar" "Glitter" or "Gigli"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cut corners, #bungling, #budget process, #skip design, #testing and manufacturing, #product recall, #shipping, #juggle

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"Project meeting" "I'll have to cut a few corners because of your bungling of the budget process." "If we skip design, prototype, testing and manufacturing, we can afford the product recall." "We'll save on shipping, too." "Is bungle the same as juggle?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #trained employees, #feral employees, #in alley, #animals, #creamer, #crouched

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The boss: we can't afford to hire any trained employees. Catbert: hire feral employees. The boss: where do I find feral employees? Catbert: I saw some in the alley. The bossL who wants a creamer?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #beverages, #water, #restroom, #bottled water, #sink water, #bring cup

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Dilbert: Before we start, can I offer you a cup of water from our restroom sink? We can't afford bottled water. Customer: Okay, sure. I'll have a cup of sink water. Dilbert: That brings us to the awkward part: did you happen to bring a cup?