Answering Scam Comic Strips - Page 4

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45 Results for Answering Scam

View 31 - 40 results for answering scam comic strips. Discover the best "Answering Scam" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 21, 2009's comic on:


Tags #angry, #meeting, #anger management, #group, #scam, #business

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Man says, "Welcome to Eddy's school of anger management. I'm Eddy." You Man says, "I was once like you: Angry at every idiot in the world." Group says, "How'd you stop being angry at idiots?" Man says, "I created a school so they'd give me money while I insulted them."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 29, 2009's comic on:


Tags #communicating, #stress, #infuriating, #impossible, #answering, #convoluted

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Morgan: The man with no communication skills Dilbert says, "Did you get results from the stress tests yet?" Morgan says, "Stress tests have to be performed under controlled conditions." Dilbert says, "Has anyone ever explained to you the yes-no form of questions?" Morgan says, "Is it my turn to talk?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 06, 2008's comic on:


Tags #25 questions, #before start, #bluff, #didn't send email, #email, #excuses, #lies to boss, #non responsive, #slacker, #standoff

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Wally: I planned to be productive this week. I sent you an e-mail with 25 questions I need answered before I can start on my project. I waited patiently while your non-responsiveness crushed my hopes and dreams. The Boss: I don't have time to answer 25 questions! Wally: Well then, it appears we are at a standoff. The Boss: Okay, okay! I'll work all weekend answering your stupid questions!!! Wally: That's great, unless you can't find the e-mail I sent. Dilbert: Did you really send an e-mail?" Wally: That's not how I roll.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 08, 2009's comic on:


Tags #outsourcing, #economy, #scam, #budget

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Dogbert says, "the Dogbert outsourcing company has a solution for every budget." Dogbert says, "At the deluxe level you get highly educated Indian who speak perfect English." The boss says, "Sounds pricey." The boss says, "Let me see?at my budget level we can get..." The boss says, "...One illiterate Elbonian with poor attendance and an anger management problem." the boss says, "Stupid economy." the boss says, "I'll take him." Dogbert says, "I should warn you that he handles several accounts... and he doesn't know he has a job." Elbonian says, "Why does everyone keep calling me and complaining?! I hate your guts!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 17, 2007's comic on:


Tags #dead horse, #interview, #offcie, #meeting, #chair, #not answering, #few hours, #secretary, #cancel other meetinsg, #take time, #business

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The Boss: "You have good experience as a dead horse, but can you take a beating?" "So, you think you can ignore my questions, do you?" "Cancel all of my meetings, this could take a few more hours."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 19, 2014's comic on:


Tags #electronic mail, #internet & world wide web, #scams, #enter bank acct, #employee, #boss

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WHY phishing scams keep working enter your bank account number. Dilbert: Scam. WAIT FOR IT enter your bank account number Alice: Scam. There it is Boss: Okey-dokey.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 02, 2014's comic on:


Tags #answers, #deception, #questioning, #questions, #reorganization, #deceptive weasel, #guilt, #employee, #employer

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Dilbert: I heard a rumor of a reorganization. Is it true? Boss: Who told you that? Dilbert: Answering a question with a question means yes. Boss: Are you accusing me of being a deceptive weasel? Dilbert: Why would you ask that?

Wally's Illusion Of Inefficiency

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Wally's Illusion Of Inefficiency - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 06, 2016's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #scam, #efficience, #culture

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Boss: I've noticed you don't work as much as your co-workers. That's an illusion caused by the combination of my efficiency and my modesty. Boss: So... you're getting your work done? Wally: Stop poisoning our culture with your distrust.

Dilbert Breaks Up With Work Wife

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Dilbert Breaks Up With Work Wife - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 10, 2016's comic on:


Tags #Women, #wives, #wife, #work spouse, #game, #scam, #ruse, #relationships

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Dilbert: Alice, I am breaking up with you as my work wife. Tina complains less and she sends me on fewer errands, so I choose her. Alice: What's your game? Tina: I'm running a bait-and-switch on him.

Block Of Wood Is In A Bad Mood

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Block Of Wood Is In A Bad Mood  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 23, 2016's comic on:


Tags #ai, #artificial intelligence, #scam, #gullible, #emotions, #deception

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CEO: I heard you invented a device with human intelligence and human emotions. Can I ask it a question? Wally: It's in a bad mood. It's not talking. CEO: Wow! It's just like people! Wally: You'd better leave before you make it cry.