Artistic Side Comic Strips - Page 4

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

156 Results for Artistic Side

View 31 - 40 results for artistic side comic strips. Discover the best "Artistic Side" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 11, 2004's comic on:

Tags #pay calculated, #teal, #side conversations, #cilantro, #head will explode, #test theory, #better than hoped, #meeting, #table, #conference table, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

"You pay will be calculated a new way." "Then I said teal isn't a color." "Shhh! no side conversations." "Multiplied by the base salary." "I think it's a spice." "No side conversations." "It's like cilantro." "I can't help it. I'm the kind of guy who needs to talk or else it feels like my head will explode." "Let's test that theory." Mmmph! "Wow, that worked out better than I'd hoped."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 24, 2002's comic on:

Tags #god of management time, #insatiable appetite, #kronos, #manipulate perception, #month, #plenty of time, #states reprts, #upgrade servers, #side effects

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "Upgrade all of our network servers by Tuesday." Dilbert responds, "That's impossible. I need at least a month." The Boss replies, "Oh, it's impossible. Watch this." The Boss yells, "I summon Kronos, The God of Management Time!!" A man in a pink suit and hat comes and says, "I, Kronos, will manipulate your perception of time." Kronos hits The Boss on the head with his wand. Dilbert responds, "I don't see how that helps..." Kronos explains, "When he wakes up he will believe there is plenty of time and that you are a weasel." Dilbert asks, "Any side effects?" Kronos replies, "Just an insatiable appetite for status reports."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 09, 2013's comic on:

Tags #wages, #2% raise, #lower quality of work, #side bets, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The best I can give you is a 2% raise. Dilbert: No problem. I'll just lower the quality of my work until my pay feels fair. Boss: You can't do that. Dilbert: I'm taking side bets that I can.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 30, 2014's comic on:

Tags #efficiency experts, #medicines, #more motivated, #competetive, #safe and natural, #side effects, #psychopathy, #improved dating life, #needle, #injection

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I found a quick way to make you more motivated and competitive. I know it's safe because it's all natural. The only known side effects are psychopathy and an improved dating life.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 09, 2011's comic on:

Tags #inventions, #managers & supervisors, #portal, #parallel uiverse, #more prodcutive, #universe, #cops, #alice killed boss, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok says, "I created a portal to a parallel universe. My success was possible because Alice killed our boss so we are all more productive." Alice says, "Step aside. The cops have been sniffing around and I need something from the other universe." Alice says, "Look on the bright side, Asok. Some other universe just got a lot more productive."

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 27, 2011's comic on:

Tags #fear, #rodents, #transcontinental journeys, #elbonia, #too cold, #airplanes, #operate, #underground route, #fly, #switzerland, #swear system, #sewerside mission, #warm jacket, #rat hammer

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Asok, I need you to go to Elbonia. It's too cold for airplanes to operate there, so you'll need to use the underground route." The Boss says, "Fly into Switzerland and follow the sewer systems from there. Stick to the side of the sewer where it's dryer." Asok says, "It's a sewerside mission!" The Boss says, "You'll need a warm jacket and a rat hammer."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 13, 2011's comic on:

Tags #costs compared to alternatives, #doing nothing, #expensive plan, #honesty, #managers & supervisors, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I can't sign off on this plan. It's too expensive." Man says, "You heard me say that doing nothing will end up costing you twice as much, right?" The Boss says, "Yes." Man says, "And you understand that this is your only alternative?" The Boss says, "I have another meeting. Maybe Dilbert can explain it to you." Dilbert says, "Um... okay. I'll try." Dilbert says, "My boss doesn't understand that costs should be compared to alternatives." Dilbert says, "Oh." Dilbert says, "Teamwork means you can't pick the side that's right."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 27, 2011's comic on:

Tags #engineering issues, #enginner, #not a linquist, #vague requests, #faith in humanity

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman says, "Wally, can you review this for any engineering issues?" Wally says, "What issues do you think it has?" Woman says, "I don't know. I'm not an engineer." Wally says, "Your request is too vague. You need to tell me what issues I'm looking for!" Woman says, "Did you just ask me to do what I just asked you to do?" Wally says, "I don't know. I'm an engineer, not a linguist." Woman says, "I've suddenly lost all faith in humanity!" Wally says, "On the plus side, you found an issue."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 26, 2011's comic on:

Tags #blaming, #quarreling, #work independantly, #close eyes, #fall back, #better than other people

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Today you'll learn how to work independently. In this exercise, I want you to put your arms at you side, close your eyes, and fall backward. Noise: Thud thud thud. Dogbert: And it's still better than working with other people.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 22, 2011's comic on:

Tags #annoyance, #frustration, #buy in, #cleaner, #windows don't open

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I can't get buy-in for my project because our CEO hasn't approved it. And I can't get our CEO to approve it until I have buy-in from all of the divisions. On the plus side, now I understand why the windows in our building don't open. Boss: It's cleaner.